random stuff

Okay I figure I ought to blog..

I went to watch westside story yesterday! Abrupt ending aside [which kind of spoilt it], the singing and dancing were just wonderful. I wouldn't rate it as a must-watch but you won't regret going. (: I really wouldn't mind going for it again. (: -repeat- I REALLY wouldn't mind going for it again. ((:




okay blog over I think. I'm in for blogger's block. sounds vaguely rhymey.
Maybe the juices are drying up. Does one have only a certain amount of inspiration before it gets all used up? Maybe I should have spread them all out...

Have you ever realised how, sometimes, when you feel all blue, it isn't what people say that counts, but who says it? Like how the most well-meaning person can blabber on and on, but if he/she isn't a kindred spirit, it really doesn't matter even if the person's saying the right things. And how if he/she Is someone you like [for that moment anyway], even talking about umbrellas will bring a smile to your face.



okay I feel myself getting all melodramatic again. The whole funk thing. Hannah says I "get quite worked up about some things" and she's well. very right. I do get terribly worked up over some things and cannot for the life of me understand how she takes me when I get into that state. Like I apparently am in now. I think I'd be very eww-ed by me if I'm someone else. So here's a BIG THANK-YOU to all my wonderful friends who love me and I love you too!

I think I should stop blogging.




Yes. I have decided.
I shall stop blogging for awhile. hiatus, sabbatical [heretical?], walkabout, disappearance, space-travel, etcetcetc.
If you miss me give me a call [you ought to have my number] and ask me out. I do letters too. And other primitive forms of communication. smoke signals, whatever.


tooddles. -waves a nochalant hand in the air. I'm off to do my own thing. stroll to the moon, write ungrammatical letters, paint venacular purple wishywashy vibes [I have absolutely no idea what that sentence meant- I just had a picture in my head that was swishy purple and black], take part in anti-government riots, floss my teeth, and learn how to do smoke signals.

Be good everyone. Don't do anything that I wouldn't. Love you.

Guided: The mostest wonderfulest small group... we got the "feed the 5000" special mention. haha. i'm really proud of you guys!! really really (:  

I've been pretty angsty lately, discovering some truths of the adult world, and hating it. There's so much to say and I could go on and on but I think I'd rather not. Maybe because it isn't time yet.

So I shall talk about the rugby sevens. (:

They were great! Much thanks to sean's dad who had vip tickets [although I'm not sure he didn't regret it, seeing the amount of noise we made] or maybe they weren't exactly tickets; I don't know, but I do know that that ticket was worth way more than a hundred bucks. And it was definitely worth it. (: I mean, I went last year too, but it was urmm. different. The grandstands man, that's where it's at. The grandstands contain the atmosphere, and let me tell you, atmosphere is everything. I'm serious. The difference is palpable. In the stands , the match between south africa and france is so exciting, it's heart-stopping. Outside, even Samoa and New Zealand can't catch my attention. The grandstand rocks! Everyone's dressed up, yelling their heads off and dancing away. Everyone gets caught up in the thrill and becomes part of the spirit. It's so wonderful to be involved in it all. (: Screaming frantically for japan [you guys tried hard man. yr good!], cheering- no, bellowing for south america as they win the match during the last play, making witty jokes [oh look they're waiing for the egg again], and oh my gosh can I even begin with the food?? Lunch was apple crumble, cheese cake, chocolate tarts, spring rolls, smoked salmon sandwiches, bacon, tomatoes with mozerella, etcetcetc and dinner was lamb stew, thai pineapple rice, two different kinds of pasta, sauteed cabbages, strawberry shortcake, african tarts, three different kinds of salads, chicken rendang and get this- salmon and tuna sausages.
Not to mention te free flow of drinks (: 100 plus, coke, ice lemon tea, fosters beer and wine. Did you know that 100 plus mixed with fosters and wine is pretty nice? hehheh..

I promise I didn't get drunk. I probably wasn't even high. (:

The experience was fantastic. We slipped out of the balcony and downstairs to the bleachers cz that's where all the dressed up people were. Funky-ness was the order of the day. There were "birds", Elvis and his disco girlfriend, afros, clown wigs, painted faces galore and even the Mask. (: The guys said that the day before, drunken cavemen [flintstone and friends] had jumped from the stands to the floor [can you believe that? it's one storey high!], evaded security and ran across the playing field with six men chasing them. haha. Atmosphere! The entire crowd was bent on having fun, and that was that. Fun was the order of the day, and it was definitely, undeniably, wonderfully achieved. (: Blowing on a fosters' whistle jug thing, stomping on the bleachers, dancing with the songs... just generally letting ourselves go and everyone just had suc a great time. Screaming "GO SAMOAAAA" and "GO FIIJIIIIII!!!" was an incredible adrenaline high and during each game it was like my screamings could determine the winner. hahaha. But I really think the crowd at least could hear my passionate battlecry of FFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! And I am SO proud to announce that Fiji is that cup winner of the Singapore Rugby Sevens. (: Big fat happy grin.

Oh and sean promised I could have the bag and shirt. Big fat happy happy grin.

seesee told you my sunday was good. Even supper was prety fun. The next day my voice was rather deep and husky but it wasn't really obvious unless I talked to the whole class. haha. But hey I've always thought sore throats and coughs are fun. erm. or the fun sick things to have. haha.

yayy.. a gorgeous sunday, a three day week this week, baking with sab tomorrow, meeting the girls on thurday, westside on sat... what more could I ask for? Bliss. ((:

okay i'm going to shamelessly copy from gayle cz i'm too tired!!



"went for bowling again, about the same group of people. cept nick, kendrick, bj and yingquan also came along. (:

me and rachel. my bowling partner. together, we're the bowling losers!!!!! :D hahaha. you really should watch us.and rachel even more so (not lousier, but funnier. haha) she THROWS the bowling ball and it went BACKWARDS once.wilfred and joe were at/almost a hundred points and me/rachel were at TWENTY NINE. ain't we brilliant!!i think we stayed at fourteen points for like 3 rounds. see we're brilliant AND consistent. (:

and we made up a song for wilfred cos he challenged us for bowling and obviously we lost like crazy. i thought it was pretty good stuff and it came with ACTIONS tooo how cute right but wilfred wouldn't let us be nice to him and sing for him how ungrateful. tsk. so we sang for terrence in the end. (:

went to cityhall, had dinner from SUBWAY (i had three chocolatechip cookies), walked, and walked, and walked somemore from the esplanade (we ate at the rooftop terrace!!! =)) to fullerton hotel, around/near clarke quay area, and BACK to the esplanade. !!! (: haha.

little things count, don't they?"

:)

I'd planned a lazy-ish day today. After school, troop down to bt gombak to take my final theory test [which I passed :)], so go home, snooze, potter about and get started on the final uni essay thing. A lazy-ish day was in order and it felt good.

Except it didn't quite turn out that day.

Someone I hadn't seen in half a year msged me and how could I say no? So the greying cloudy soft sky after the test saw me smacking on chocolate cake with gwen [as a celebration of sorts; any excuse to eat nice food with friends :)] on the way to jurong. He'd wanted to go to imm you see.

But it was fun. Fun wandering into every conceviable [did I spell it right?] shop, from hardware stores to giant where we took out a demin jacket and I tried it on. There wasn't a mirror but we laughed anyway. Him sharing his long john silver meal with me while reading from their poster- what's ljs? now That was smirk worthy. mission of the day? To get vcds and Safety Pins. uh-huh. no kidding.

I found out he likes brainless movies [more smirks were produced] and that popular [the bookstore] stocks safety pins alongside ang paos. Not sure what the rationale was but I'd have liked to find out.

It started raining on the way back; he had an umbrella and we squished into it. I took my bag back and tried not to get it wet. We tramped around for ages before locating the taxi stand. I zapped him and a passerby, an old man with dyed golden hair in a low ponytail zapped me after that. I guess static electricity doesn't discrimate.

Little details, like how we tried to find out if the other was ticklish [for the record, I'm not] and playing with the paper clip stand at a shop.- Made the 31st of March 2006 a day where two friends meandeared their way through grass and concrete and pebbles, and spent time with each other. A typical day in Rachel's Life After The As.

I love life. (:

I went out with the gang yesterday and for the first time [in a long time], came very very close to losing my temper. sigh. And of course proceeded to spoil my entire evening.

It was quite stupid, really. Can you believe I don't remember how it started? Just childish threats of "I won't speak to you anymore" quickly unravelled. then the threats suddenly were taken seriously [on the pain of buying the other famous amos cookies should one fail] and all at once it wasn't so funny anymore.

I think I was the only one who was honestly upset but then again I felt that because of a different reason. It wasn't so much of that stupid 'game'... It was just that. earlier on I'd asked the guys if there was an alternative to movie watching [because I don't like movie watching I think they're a waste of time when one can sit down and talk with friends] and they said no they couldn't think of any and no they didn't want to sit down and talk.
I don't know why that got me all huffed up but it did. The closest I can come up with is that. Hello we call ourselves friends but oh guess what we aren't friends enough to sit down and talk. sigh. He Who Shall Not Be Named was like "what's there to talk about? he and I are working, you girls are working and what else?"
What else!
How about...

Friendship isn't just about knowing who works where, or what one is going to do. Knowledge of a body's iternery DOESN'T make one friends with the other. Spies know their preys very well don't they? [k bad analogy but you get the point]

So what with this and that and their pressure to make me watch a movie I got just so frustrated. In the end I thought 8 bucks was worth shutting them up so I paid for it. Although in hindsight I should have just left because I completely spoilt the movie for myself. It probably would have been enjoyable in other circumstances but as it is, I never want to watch ice age 2 ever again because of the events the preceeded it.

sigh. rant over. school bell just rang. I've got to go for class now. good thing I like 5A (:

just wanted to show you guys how i looked like during prom. haha. got this photo recently, courtesy of ivan. this is esther, a wonderful girl. she's hot! oh and the funny thing on my arm's a tempt tatoo that i stuck on the day before prom while running in the standard chartered and didn't know how to take out. haha. like how weird right. 

It's one of those nights again- where I have to write- or die. Premodic urges, I'd like to think. Anyway anyway...

I ought to stop reading realistically sad books because they have such a strong effect on me. I mean, I can't seperate between them and real life, so I end up brooding over the fictional events of the book even when I'm with people. Which as can be imagined, highly unfortunate.
In any case, I guess I get all moody because I honestly believe they're real. Or treat them as such anyway which thus means [according to Ammu's twins], that it Counts.

Some things are meant to remain only within me.

I tried to force them out onto this glassy screen that has white background on this page but blue on another and black on yet another. But some things cannot be. forced.

I wanted to write about lit, about the books I studied, and how I loved them so. But my words didn't want to leave me, they wanted to reamain nestled within my heart. Am I Deviant? Writing as though words have life...

I love savouring words. Tasting one attentively, rolling my tounge over it cautiously before smacking my lips and chomping on it. Or letting it melt over my mouth slowly, if that was how it wanted to be explored. Art has such a science, I see it now. I love how words are so delicately wafted, coming together to either thrill my senses with its harmony, or cause such a discord within me with its pain that I arch my back in sharp discomfort. Like a violin with broken strings and no bow but plays a discordant tune on its own.
Back in school there were times when I couldn't bear returning to a piece I had pced beacuse I had wrung out every bit of juice. It becomes appalling, not unlike a piece of meat one spits out after chewing and sucking dry its flavour. The end result is something one cannot bear. All the suprises that caused the spine to tingle... they aren't there anymore.

But enough musing.

I'm sick and tired of uni applications, how it's dragging and how there are still so many dreary processes I haven't done.

Daddy just dropped a bombshell that has rendered me incapable of venting my frustrations on the application process. [I think the root of my fear is basically that I won't be allowed into uni because of some stupid thing I've done, or not done more likely.]

Daddy's thinking about moving.
shrug.
okay maybe not so shrug. It's getting harder to appear stoic.

I don't want to move.

I like bt timah a lot.

crap.



I must write, I told you when I first started this piece but the words won't come out!

I know their tricks. They'll remain in there for some time, stewing, like malovent rotten meat that will not improve with time. I'm their host and that's all. They take no notice of me, no, nor the burning anguish inside. How they will quarrel inside! Clash and come to a head, wrecking me in the process. Until finally, I tear inside myself, wretching them out, caring about nothing but that they be purged. Left with nothing inside me, I sit empty and drained.

My muse is wilful, wild and wicked. She is tempermental and destructive. Barbed and thorned. A changeling, fey and beautiful. Faery, pixie and dryad. Where have I placed myself? With such danger! I cannot leave, I am compelled to obey. Cruelly she smashes blogs to my head, so that I have no choice but to compare. Whose is better? She constantly reminds me of my audience. Would this word suit them better? How would that phrase go down with them?
She torments me, like she is doing now!
Feverishly, so feverishly.

On nights like this I have no control.
The only thing my muse does not have is substance. She is a willow in the wisp.

What am I to do? All I need is to write them out.
But they have no words yet.
That is why I cannot write them out.

They are still raw. Like raw meat.

They have no shape.


The realisation slides into me like a clean knife. I look up, startled.
And feel better.
Knowledge always makes one feel better.





I DON'T WANT TO WRITE ABOUT UNI!


I don't want to have uni to write about.




What's in the future? I don't see anything.


Maybe it's just a dark night.



sigh.
I wish I had better to write about. But I can't. You do see don't you? I can't write what I cannot.

hellooo everybody my darling computer decided to revive for awhile so I'm just posting this to let you guys know I'm STILL ALIVE! haha. be patient while my glamourous commie acts up like a diva. grinn.

Okay I shall keep all and sundry entertained in the meantime by posting photos! :D okay there are like a hundred million photos so don’t say I didn’t warn you. But take your time looking through them bcz well. they’re nice! k? Don’t like die half way on me. I’m going to introduce my friends! :D

These guys are my friends. [yeah repitition I know but I don’t care] (: See, mich, gwen and myself were classmates during the first three months [together with joyce but I don’t have any photos of her =Pp] and guess what all three of us were from the same primary school! The world’s so small right. Anyway sarah was from another class but she became mich’s friend I think. I’m not sure how we got to know sean, [I’m guessing he was mich’s friend too] but he brought all his barker friends along. Oh but cedric’s from yicong’s church.
There. Wasn’t that lengthly. Okay, photos please!

k when we first went out yicong�s and glen�s antics invariably meant that we got kicked out of every restaurant or shop we went into. =Pp see. They don�t change much. Us girls couldn�t get their jokes either. And you know what they still don�t make sense.
 

this is us.  

Okay this is Really us. haha. glen yicong cedric and sean. gwen sarah president of singapore and michelle
 

funky grandfather slippers!
 

We got bored and went to the playground to take shots. haha. glen�s cousin was nice enough to be photographer.
 

I swear they told me to act cute