Tuesday, January 30, 2007
more love
It's getting to become a lovely pattern, it is.
Two fridays ago was hannah, and then saturday the 87 batch.
Last friday was dinner with weiling, and then saturday with wols. yayy.
I love spending time with weiling simply because she's weiling. She loves me, you know?
Saturday with them bunch was so sweet.. all of them met at 4 to prepare for the steamboat and okay I don't know what happened then but it's just so nice to think of the love :) It's so fun to sit around the table, like we have done before for chinese new year, for birthdays, for world cup sessions and so much more. The guys doing their usual thing, and gwen and I together [sarah come back soon okay?]. After that was the football match between malaysia and singapore. At half time, I went upstairs to get my phone and came back downstairs with a cake waiting for me and ohhhhh you guys are just so sweet alright. A lovely brownie cake and even ben&jerry's mmmmmmmmmmmmm :))
And in the end singapore won on penalties so that was pretty nice too. :)
Can't wait for chinese new year guys.. it's been three whole years since we were friends [and friends of friends] during the nonsensical first three months and now I just like spending time with everyone :)
Two fridays ago was hannah, and then saturday the 87 batch.
Last friday was dinner with weiling, and then saturday with wols. yayy.
I love spending time with weiling simply because she's weiling. She loves me, you know?
Saturday with them bunch was so sweet.. all of them met at 4 to prepare for the steamboat and okay I don't know what happened then but it's just so nice to think of the love :) It's so fun to sit around the table, like we have done before for chinese new year, for birthdays, for world cup sessions and so much more. The guys doing their usual thing, and gwen and I together [sarah come back soon okay?]. After that was the football match between malaysia and singapore. At half time, I went upstairs to get my phone and came back downstairs with a cake waiting for me and ohhhhh you guys are just so sweet alright. A lovely brownie cake and even ben&jerry's mmmmmmmmmmmmm :))
And in the end singapore won on penalties so that was pretty nice too. :)
Can't wait for chinese new year guys.. it's been three whole years since we were friends [and friends of friends] during the nonsensical first three months and now I just like spending time with everyone :)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
87 dinner at fish&co.
There! Promised I'd put up a photo; got this from al.
This was as big as I could stretch it without looking like we went for mass plastic face-stretching sugery haha.
Our 87 batch :)
I love how this photo captures our happy faces :)) I like my very happy face (:
I think it'll be lovely growing old with us. :)
God bless the 87 batch :D
some things don't change
So mayboo and I went out, and we walked in the water while talking. :)
some things don't change, for which I'm glad.
some things don't change, for which I'm glad.
Monday, January 22, 2007
feel the loooove
Check out the cookies that hannah hand-baked for me! They were really really good, and best of all, a complete suprise [because I wasn't expecting to get anything on the 19th hahaha]And then yesterday, the 87 batch met up, the biggest turn-out ever. 16 of us went to fish&co. for dinner, and then completely embarrassed me by making me stand on the chair, handing me a sparkler and then bursting into some cheer. We took photos; I'll put them up when I get them. thanks to alethia [my dear darling organiser], mayboo [my lovely intrepid bedok-wheelock adventurer], sara [who makes me laugh], gayle [who laughs with me], sarah [who didn't want to come at first and then was glad she didn't miss it :D], crystal [the funky engineer], and the guys: yingquan, reuben, marvin, nicklaus, kendrick, wilfred, daniel, kin yip, joshua who took time out to come. :)) it was really really sweet of you guys. Like I said, I<3 the '87 batch!
So, this post is to thank each and every one of you.. I've been trying to come up with something that would... I mean..
I wish I could say what all of you mean to me. Because.. I really thank God for blessing me with you- each of you mean so much to me, in your own special way. Even the guys yah? Really really. (:
Feel the looove.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
dead
It has been a long time since I felt the disappointment of a badly played game. Then again, I'm not sure if I should feel grateful that I'm finally in a Team, again. I suppose sportsmen and women will know what I mean. A Team is a team that has standard. It's been so long... since I've been part of a team close to this level. Four years....
and then I had to screw up.
One would think that playing netball for six years would be enough practice. and it wasn't like the other team was a. Team.
Well actually, no, six years of practice isn't enough. Not if the last two were spent in a fooling around, and then a year-long hiatus, sabbatical, whatever. and all this while, the rest of this team has been punishing their bodies into prime condition, playing at top level leagues. well guess who was ultra conscious of that, and eventually buckled under the pressure of playing wing attack tonight. If our opponents had been of higher quality, I would have been the link in the chain that broke. arrrrgh.
When daphne said after the match that she didn't want to play netball anymore, I could totally emphathise. It's really hard, to face it, that hey you, you don't play like you used to. you've lost it. That really sucks. There isn't any point trying to say, but hey, I think you play really well. Because I know what really well means, and I'm nowhere near that. I'm competent, and that's about it. Ever since I've left the team that won the championship in the west zone, I've lost it. For without proper training, what use is a player? Don't talk to me about jc, that one was a joke. Don't get me started on a certain person who skipped half a year of training, and then had the audacity to accuse me of. a lot of things. okay fine I'll stop bitching.
So yeah. After this, I'll stop. Maybe this is part of what they call growing up. Where you recognise that you're too fat, too slow, where your muscles have atrophied and the only big thing you have about you is your beer belly. So you face it, that you aren't the rubgy captain anymore, the big shot whose name was breathelessly whispered in awe. Better than being one of those who still appear to think that they've washboard abs and flaunt the [dare I taunt them?] belly. yeahhhh well so I'm hanging up the netball shoes, and forget about the glorious years. I'll assimiliate nicely into the university crowd. Turning twenty, isn't she.
Whatever. Maybe I'll look back a year or so later, and it'll be better.
But for now, for tonight, it's bitter.
and then I had to screw up.
One would think that playing netball for six years would be enough practice. and it wasn't like the other team was a. Team.
Well actually, no, six years of practice isn't enough. Not if the last two were spent in a fooling around, and then a year-long hiatus, sabbatical, whatever. and all this while, the rest of this team has been punishing their bodies into prime condition, playing at top level leagues. well guess who was ultra conscious of that, and eventually buckled under the pressure of playing wing attack tonight. If our opponents had been of higher quality, I would have been the link in the chain that broke. arrrrgh.
When daphne said after the match that she didn't want to play netball anymore, I could totally emphathise. It's really hard, to face it, that hey you, you don't play like you used to. you've lost it. That really sucks. There isn't any point trying to say, but hey, I think you play really well. Because I know what really well means, and I'm nowhere near that. I'm competent, and that's about it. Ever since I've left the team that won the championship in the west zone, I've lost it. For without proper training, what use is a player? Don't talk to me about jc, that one was a joke. Don't get me started on a certain person who skipped half a year of training, and then had the audacity to accuse me of. a lot of things. okay fine I'll stop bitching.
So yeah. After this, I'll stop. Maybe this is part of what they call growing up. Where you recognise that you're too fat, too slow, where your muscles have atrophied and the only big thing you have about you is your beer belly. So you face it, that you aren't the rubgy captain anymore, the big shot whose name was breathelessly whispered in awe. Better than being one of those who still appear to think that they've washboard abs and flaunt the [dare I taunt them?] belly. yeahhhh well so I'm hanging up the netball shoes, and forget about the glorious years. I'll assimiliate nicely into the university crowd. Turning twenty, isn't she.
Whatever. Maybe I'll look back a year or so later, and it'll be better.
But for now, for tonight, it's bitter.
she somewhat dictated this
Having been not-so-subtlely nagged at for the past hour by someone who is studying far far away in the states [but still able to drive me to distraction from my drawing of my southeast asian map], I feel compelled to change my answer of number one. See I told you I shouldn't do quizzes in the morning. by the way, she insists on telling us that she did not force me to write this. [and she didn't la]
So now, I need to retract my "previous insensitive statement alleging that my life would be less complicated" because I "answered it honestly and hurted her".
It has now been officially retracted. The new statement now reads,
"What would you do if I had never met number1 [SHYAMA NAIR LAUYAPOK]"
I would have had a less happening life. [read: less difficult]
_________________
okay this is not quite working out. Even though I tried so hard to make things better, she has just announced that she isn't talking to me and she doesn't want to friend me. I ought to also add that she is a scholar studying medcine in the states. and she's turning twenty this year. and she has coloured hair. and she doesn't get to eat chicken rice, char kway tiao, rojak, tau sa pao, tau sambal, roti prata, hokkien mee [she wants hokkien mee and satay and chee kway and carrot cake].
She's whining inaudibly on the computer phone now. She retorts that she's whining about me not answering her questions. [now she's giving me a courtroom analogy.. I don't quite understand] and okay now she says I have to write down what she's saying.
"Rachel is um, delusional, um, got memory problems, is impaired, whines a lot, and this this wait wait wait very important you must type this one okay the love is inside me, inside you because the love is inside me inside you in our friendship and in those words and then I must say yes I actually wrote that. okay very good. now you must say I love shyama very much. -I'm very afraid to see how this comes out- and life would be meaningless without her. although she will never forgive me for hurting her soul, because shyama is -inaudible mumbling- um, now I'm locked in a diary and STOP TYPING WHAT I JUST SAID"
dear reader, if you don't understand this, it's okay I don't understand either.
So now, I need to retract my "previous insensitive statement alleging that my life would be less complicated" because I "answered it honestly and hurted her".
It has now been officially retracted. The new statement now reads,
"What would you do if I had never met number1 [SHYAMA NAIR LAUYAPOK]"
I would have had a less happening life. [read: less difficult]
_________________
okay this is not quite working out. Even though I tried so hard to make things better, she has just announced that she isn't talking to me and she doesn't want to friend me. I ought to also add that she is a scholar studying medcine in the states. and she's turning twenty this year. and she has coloured hair. and she doesn't get to eat chicken rice, char kway tiao, rojak, tau sa pao, tau sambal, roti prata, hokkien mee [she wants hokkien mee and satay and chee kway and carrot cake].
She's whining inaudibly on the computer phone now. She retorts that she's whining about me not answering her questions. [now she's giving me a courtroom analogy.. I don't quite understand] and okay now she says I have to write down what she's saying.
"Rachel is um, delusional, um, got memory problems, is impaired, whines a lot, and this this wait wait wait very important you must type this one okay the love is inside me, inside you because the love is inside me inside you in our friendship and in those words and then I must say yes I actually wrote that. okay very good. now you must say I love shyama very much. -I'm very afraid to see how this comes out- and life would be meaningless without her. although she will never forgive me for hurting her soul, because shyama is -inaudible mumbling- um, now I'm locked in a diary and STOP TYPING WHAT I JUST SAID"
dear reader, if you don't understand this, it's okay I don't understand either.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Don't ask me why I'm up at 950, or more importantly, up at 950 with a mind decided to do one of those funny things. we all have our idiosyncransies [another one of mine is my hmm. creative spelling.] or maybe I'll do more than one; whatever thou doest, do excessively. [I'm sure this is wrong somehow, but I'll comtemplate it another time]
Any 20 people who come to your head.
1. shyama
2. alethia
3. mayboo
4. jeremy
5. hannah
6. sabrina
7. gwen
8. my brother
9. esther
10. rebecca
11. erica
12. joe
13. sarah
14. john
15. julia
16. mindy
17. me!
18. QH
19. mark
20. colin
1. How did I meet 14 [john]?
It's really complicated.. we kind of met twice. Embarrassing details aside, I met him through daniel marini eight years ago. then completely lost contact some time later because sabrina decided that she hated him. hahaha. he left to study in the states for awhile, then when I was talking to aaron two years later, we found out that we both knew him. so I met him again. but within three months, everything ended. I haven't seen him for... four years now. he's quite a painful memory.. serves me right for doing stupid quiz things in the morning.
2. What would I do if I had never met number1 [shyama]?
Life would be a lot less complicated! haha. But you're worth it.. and I'll stand by you dear :) Keep searching ya?
3. What would I do if 20 [colin] and 9 [esther] dated?
haha! Go into shock, then laugh hysterically. I mean, we all came from the same school, it's just that colin's a year younger. But he's quite a sweet guy, and I'm really fond of esther so I suppose I could live with it. :)
4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
that SABRINA AND ME!
5. describe number3 [mayboo]
I think she would describe herself as a repressed OCD tv/video/movie addict, but I think. there's a lot more to her than she'd let the world know, and she's a beautiful woman-child inside. Outside, she's more than just funny, she's lovely. She knows a lot about me, probably more than I care to remember =Pp but she still believes in me! I count her as one of my best friends.. period.
6. Do you think number8 is attractive?
HE'S MY BROTHER what's with this quiz this question is not to be answered!
aiyahhhhhhhh I love him no matter what. I'm his older sister! I'm proud of him, and I look forward to him growing up to be a godly young man. [hurry up boy]
7. Tell me something about number7.
She's my kukumalu and I love her to bits! And, she loves me too! :D
8. Do you know anything about number12's [joe] family?
I've been to his place quite a few times, and we'll all in the same church so I suppose I do know something. He has 2 brothers and a younger sister. oh his dad's like the guy in some ad on the bus stops now.. so you might know him too! haha. They have a lovely osim massage chair.. haha. I could go on, but you can ask him yourself.
9. What's 18 [QH's] favourite pasttime?
haha I don't know if it's still the same, but in school, it was going to the toilet!
10. What would I do if 11 confessed that he/she liked you?
erica? the pastor's daughter???
11. What language does 15 [julia] speak?
english, some chinese, some malay and some sign language
12. How old is 16 [mindy] now?
200. hahaha. she's 19.
13. When was the last time you talked to 13 [sarah]?
haha yesterday! and we decided that if she gets married, I get to be her speech-maker. yay! but if I don't get married [I announced that The One has never come = probably never will come = nobody wanted me so I'd probably end up being a spinster] she says she won't get married either so we'll both live together in a studio apartment! Lovely.
14. Who's 2's favourite singer?
ME! hurhur.
15. Would I date number4?
Even aunties in church ask my mom this question. [it's pretty weird talking about this over the internet. it really does serve me right for doing these quiz things. sorry jem!] hmmm well, cetris peribus, no. He's my best guy friend and knowing me, I'll probably end up hurting him... and I'd never want to do that, ever.
16. What's 10's last name?
rebecca's last name is i-love. She does have a loving heart.
okay and to prove that I do know her last name, it's tan.
17. Would I ever consider having a relationship with 19?
Mark? He used to call me jie! But it's been some months since I last talked to him.. and I haven't seen him for a year now I think. not since he got his latest girlfriend. sigh. I miss him.
18. What schools did 3 go to?
faith sunday school, awana, zjs, yf + orchid park sec, then she left my life to study in australia. :(
We've known each other since kindergarten, at least. So as you can see I know all the intimate details of her life.
19. Where does 6 [sabrina] live?
Currently? high gate. second floor. and she walks down from the first floor to the basement so that she can take the lift to the second floor so she doesn't need to walk UP the stairs. see these are the kind of people I call my girlfriends. I think I know very interesting people. I don't know how she managed it when she was living in kismis green.. that house was like 3 storied. but it's okay sabrina I love you and I know you love me too.
20. What's my favourite thing about number5 [hannah]?
oooh I love her! okay and she's one of my girlfriends [I ought to mention I have only about 6 of them, so they are extra special people] so she's obviously extra special. I suppose it's how she knows so so much about me, but still supports me anyway. And I really don't understand how she can think of me the way she does.. all that aside, my favourite thing about hannah is that she is hannah. That's enough.
_______________________________________________________
okay I'm going to do a safer quiz that doesn't involve digging up sad memories or revealing kooky stuff about my friends which might end up in me being hacked into pieces this one's more or less about me. Got this from al's site.. like she says, some kueh thing.
Layer One.
On the Outside.
Name: rachel
Birthday: 30 Jan 87 [I don't care if I'm 20 this year and it's undignified to do stupid quizzes at 1126hrs]
Current status: single
Eye colour: I don't know.. I'm going to the mirror to check. okay my eyes are brown and black and white.
Hair colour: I don't know either. And I'm not going to the mirror anymore.
Righty or lefty: LEFT. I don't know if that accounts for some of my err uniqueness.
zodiac sign: aquarius. I don't believe in these things though, really. oh chinese sign's complicated because I don't know if I was born on the last day of the lunar new year, or the first day of the new year. haha. So I could either be a tiger or rabbit. My mom knows though, she told me once but I forgot. I'm liminal!
Layer Two.
On the Inside.
Your heritage: Chinese with Paranakan blood.
Your fears: I suppose a superficial one would be lizards. I really do dislike them.
Your weaknesses: chocolate?
Your perfect pizza: Eaten with friends :)
Layer Three.
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow [hneh]
Your first thoughts waking up: Am I late???
Your bedtime: I'm trying to make it before midnight.
Your most missed memory: I don't like delving into memories.
Layer Four
Your pick.
Pepsi or Cola: I don't like soft drinks. haughty sniff.
Mcdonald's or BK: tough.. because as a principle I don't like fast food. we shall leave it as that.
Adidas or Nike: I do not like nike, because it exploits children in sweatshops. Again, that's debatable because some argue that it provides jobs. [sigh this quiz is turning out to be quite complicated too, only in a different way.] okay but I don't know if adidas does that too. But I do know that Nike has no quality. So the lesser of two evils would be adidas I suppose. and I think I think too much. this is exhausting.
Lipton tea or nestea: I have yet to meet someone who can persuade me that Lipton has quality tea. And what on earth is nestea??
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: I can't take either.
Layer Five.
Do you
Smoke: An overwhelming majority of arts students do, I suppose. Happens when you have hardly any substance but a flair for writing. And it's the cigarette that smokes... yr simply the sucker at the end.
Curse: I think I can safely say I don't. By the way, I'm quite convinced that "damn" is a curse word. Like, "I damn you to hell". So maybe we should all think before we say "this is like, damn cool". But I'm not going to be all holier-than-thou and insist that everyone clean up their speech. It really isn't any use striving to be the purest, most righteous person on earth if we don't know why we're doing it... we all fall short in the end. And 99% isn't enough for perfection, you know. That's why we need God's grace. Think about it.
Layer Six.
In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Probably.. hmm no wait. maybe not. In the past month would be 16th december onwards wouldn't it. yeahhh it's been yf camp, MEET retreat, MEET camp, Home in thailand and then trainings. okay I haven't drank in the past month. Not planning to any time soon, either.
Gone to the mall: errr. oh yeah sure. Just had jap at vivocity on friday.
Been on stage: yes.
Eaten sushi: Refer to the above.
Dyed your hair: The last time I did was when I was 14, when I dyed my hair blue twice in a month but it didn't make any difference because the dye washed out promptly both times so I gave up after the second. It spoilt my hair though, which turned red. [I kid you not.] So when I went back to school people were asking me if I dyed my hair red and then I got caught for having red hair which was so pathetic because I had dyed it blue, for goodness' sakes. But fortunately they were partial to the netballers so the teachers agreed that all the trainings in the sun had damaged my hair, and that's why it turned red. Go figure. [I'm very tempted to call this a hair-raising story. there. I've called a hair-raising story.]
Layer Seven
Have you ever played a stripping game: There are stupid things I have done which I don't quite care to recall. One more reason why I'm eager to leave my teen years behind. OH but I ought to state very firmly that I Did Not take any article of clothes off, no socks nothing. And dinner came before anyone could be indecently dressed, for which I'm eternally grateful.
Changed who you were to fit in: I think a significant reason why my early teen years were difficult is because I didn't fit in with the culture of my school. I did try to, but it didn't work out. There's this facuet of my character that's pretty strong. So what with not fitting in and trying to but my character being too strong for that... it was hard. But that's past now.
Layer Eight
Age you're hoping to be married: Either I marry The One, or I won't marry. So the age is inconsequential. [okay but I think earlier is better if that helps. haha.]
Layer Nine
In a Girl/Boy [I'm assuming mine's Boy, because I'm a girl.]
Best eye colour: Oh, as long as it's looked at me adoringly.
Best hair colour: His natural one; I'm quite sure of that.
Short or long hair: SHORT.
Layer Ten
What were you doing
1 minute ago: A rather enjoyable, if stupid, quiz. This quiz.
1 hour ago: Another quiz. hahaha.
4.5 hours ago: That would be... about 740? Doing QT with kayan.
1 month ago: 16th dec? being harassed by a mad woman on the bus. really. really!
1 year ago: haha! it was my first day at being a teacher of my p2 kids! goodness that has to be one of the most memorable days of my life, and I've got about twenty x 365 of them to choose from. [pause] okay I went to my archives and went to read my first post about teaching.. I think it's quite funny. You should read it too!
Layer Eleven
Finish the sentence
I love: God
I feel: rather rushed now because I have to shower and everything because I have driving soon and then training + a match when I get back but I'm supposed to find out what transubstantiation is and be able to explain why it's wrong from a biblical point of view before QT with tomorrow!
I hate: irresponsibility. and sadly, I think I'm guilty of that too.
I hide: a lot of things.
I miss: I told you, I'm not delving into memories.
I need: God.
Layer Twelve
Tag 5 people to do this
I did this on a whim, because I'm impulsive and prone to sudden inexplicable activities. Not going to inflict this capricious part of me on anyone.
_________________________
I'd do another quiz, but I really do need to leave about now. what a pity. maybe I'll do some more later.. if I have the energy. grin. It really is rather draining, you know. okay and you don't have to read if you don't want to. Not that you ever had to. haha. Well, here I conclude 2 hours and 40 minutes of directed musing.
Any 20 people who come to your head.
1. shyama
2. alethia
3. mayboo
4. jeremy
5. hannah
6. sabrina
7. gwen
8. my brother
9. esther
10. rebecca
11. erica
12. joe
13. sarah
14. john
15. julia
16. mindy
17. me!
18. QH
19. mark
20. colin
1. How did I meet 14 [john]?
It's really complicated.. we kind of met twice. Embarrassing details aside, I met him through daniel marini eight years ago. then completely lost contact some time later because sabrina decided that she hated him. hahaha. he left to study in the states for awhile, then when I was talking to aaron two years later, we found out that we both knew him. so I met him again. but within three months, everything ended. I haven't seen him for... four years now. he's quite a painful memory.. serves me right for doing stupid quiz things in the morning.
2. What would I do if I had never met number1 [shyama]?
Life would be a lot less complicated! haha. But you're worth it.. and I'll stand by you dear :) Keep searching ya?
3. What would I do if 20 [colin] and 9 [esther] dated?
haha! Go into shock, then laugh hysterically. I mean, we all came from the same school, it's just that colin's a year younger. But he's quite a sweet guy, and I'm really fond of esther so I suppose I could live with it. :)
4. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
that SABRINA AND ME!
5. describe number3 [mayboo]
I think she would describe herself as a repressed OCD tv/video/movie addict, but I think. there's a lot more to her than she'd let the world know, and she's a beautiful woman-child inside. Outside, she's more than just funny, she's lovely. She knows a lot about me, probably more than I care to remember =Pp but she still believes in me! I count her as one of my best friends.. period.
6. Do you think number8 is attractive?
HE'S MY BROTHER what's with this quiz this question is not to be answered!
aiyahhhhhhhh I love him no matter what. I'm his older sister! I'm proud of him, and I look forward to him growing up to be a godly young man. [hurry up boy]
7. Tell me something about number7.
She's my kukumalu and I love her to bits! And, she loves me too! :D
8. Do you know anything about number12's [joe] family?
I've been to his place quite a few times, and we'll all in the same church so I suppose I do know something. He has 2 brothers and a younger sister. oh his dad's like the guy in some ad on the bus stops now.. so you might know him too! haha. They have a lovely osim massage chair.. haha. I could go on, but you can ask him yourself.
9. What's 18 [QH's] favourite pasttime?
haha I don't know if it's still the same, but in school, it was going to the toilet!
10. What would I do if 11 confessed that he/she liked you?
erica? the pastor's daughter???
11. What language does 15 [julia] speak?
english, some chinese, some malay and some sign language
12. How old is 16 [mindy] now?
200. hahaha. she's 19.
13. When was the last time you talked to 13 [sarah]?
haha yesterday! and we decided that if she gets married, I get to be her speech-maker. yay! but if I don't get married [I announced that The One has never come = probably never will come = nobody wanted me so I'd probably end up being a spinster] she says she won't get married either so we'll both live together in a studio apartment! Lovely.
14. Who's 2's favourite singer?
ME! hurhur.
15. Would I date number4?
Even aunties in church ask my mom this question. [it's pretty weird talking about this over the internet. it really does serve me right for doing these quiz things. sorry jem!] hmmm well, cetris peribus, no. He's my best guy friend and knowing me, I'll probably end up hurting him... and I'd never want to do that, ever.
16. What's 10's last name?
rebecca's last name is i-love. She does have a loving heart.
okay and to prove that I do know her last name, it's tan.
17. Would I ever consider having a relationship with 19?
Mark? He used to call me jie! But it's been some months since I last talked to him.. and I haven't seen him for a year now I think. not since he got his latest girlfriend. sigh. I miss him.
18. What schools did 3 go to?
faith sunday school, awana, zjs, yf + orchid park sec, then she left my life to study in australia. :(
We've known each other since kindergarten, at least. So as you can see I know all the intimate details of her life.
19. Where does 6 [sabrina] live?
Currently? high gate. second floor. and she walks down from the first floor to the basement so that she can take the lift to the second floor so she doesn't need to walk UP the stairs. see these are the kind of people I call my girlfriends. I think I know very interesting people. I don't know how she managed it when she was living in kismis green.. that house was like 3 storied. but it's okay sabrina I love you and I know you love me too.
20. What's my favourite thing about number5 [hannah]?
oooh I love her! okay and she's one of my girlfriends [I ought to mention I have only about 6 of them, so they are extra special people] so she's obviously extra special. I suppose it's how she knows so so much about me, but still supports me anyway. And I really don't understand how she can think of me the way she does.. all that aside, my favourite thing about hannah is that she is hannah. That's enough.
_______________________________________________________
okay I'm going to do a safer quiz that doesn't involve digging up sad memories or revealing kooky stuff about my friends which might end up in me being hacked into pieces this one's more or less about me. Got this from al's site.. like she says, some kueh thing.
Layer One.
On the Outside.
Name: rachel
Birthday: 30 Jan 87 [I don't care if I'm 20 this year and it's undignified to do stupid quizzes at 1126hrs]
Current status: single
Eye colour: I don't know.. I'm going to the mirror to check. okay my eyes are brown and black and white.
Hair colour: I don't know either. And I'm not going to the mirror anymore.
Righty or lefty: LEFT. I don't know if that accounts for some of my err uniqueness.
zodiac sign: aquarius. I don't believe in these things though, really. oh chinese sign's complicated because I don't know if I was born on the last day of the lunar new year, or the first day of the new year. haha. So I could either be a tiger or rabbit. My mom knows though, she told me once but I forgot. I'm liminal!
Layer Two.
On the Inside.
Your heritage: Chinese with Paranakan blood.
Your fears: I suppose a superficial one would be lizards. I really do dislike them.
Your weaknesses: chocolate?
Your perfect pizza: Eaten with friends :)
Layer Three.
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow [hneh]
Your first thoughts waking up: Am I late???
Your bedtime: I'm trying to make it before midnight.
Your most missed memory: I don't like delving into memories.
Layer Four
Your pick.
Pepsi or Cola: I don't like soft drinks. haughty sniff.
Mcdonald's or BK: tough.. because as a principle I don't like fast food. we shall leave it as that.
Adidas or Nike: I do not like nike, because it exploits children in sweatshops. Again, that's debatable because some argue that it provides jobs. [sigh this quiz is turning out to be quite complicated too, only in a different way.] okay but I don't know if adidas does that too. But I do know that Nike has no quality. So the lesser of two evils would be adidas I suppose. and I think I think too much. this is exhausting.
Lipton tea or nestea: I have yet to meet someone who can persuade me that Lipton has quality tea. And what on earth is nestea??
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: I can't take either.
Layer Five.
Do you
Smoke: An overwhelming majority of arts students do, I suppose. Happens when you have hardly any substance but a flair for writing. And it's the cigarette that smokes... yr simply the sucker at the end.
Curse: I think I can safely say I don't. By the way, I'm quite convinced that "damn" is a curse word. Like, "I damn you to hell". So maybe we should all think before we say "this is like, damn cool". But I'm not going to be all holier-than-thou and insist that everyone clean up their speech. It really isn't any use striving to be the purest, most righteous person on earth if we don't know why we're doing it... we all fall short in the end. And 99% isn't enough for perfection, you know. That's why we need God's grace. Think about it.
Layer Six.
In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Probably.. hmm no wait. maybe not. In the past month would be 16th december onwards wouldn't it. yeahhh it's been yf camp, MEET retreat, MEET camp, Home in thailand and then trainings. okay I haven't drank in the past month. Not planning to any time soon, either.
Gone to the mall: errr. oh yeah sure. Just had jap at vivocity on friday.
Been on stage: yes.
Eaten sushi: Refer to the above.
Dyed your hair: The last time I did was when I was 14, when I dyed my hair blue twice in a month but it didn't make any difference because the dye washed out promptly both times so I gave up after the second. It spoilt my hair though, which turned red. [I kid you not.] So when I went back to school people were asking me if I dyed my hair red and then I got caught for having red hair which was so pathetic because I had dyed it blue, for goodness' sakes. But fortunately they were partial to the netballers so the teachers agreed that all the trainings in the sun had damaged my hair, and that's why it turned red. Go figure. [I'm very tempted to call this a hair-raising story. there. I've called a hair-raising story.]
Layer Seven
Have you ever played a stripping game: There are stupid things I have done which I don't quite care to recall. One more reason why I'm eager to leave my teen years behind. OH but I ought to state very firmly that I Did Not take any article of clothes off, no socks nothing. And dinner came before anyone could be indecently dressed, for which I'm eternally grateful.
Changed who you were to fit in: I think a significant reason why my early teen years were difficult is because I didn't fit in with the culture of my school. I did try to, but it didn't work out. There's this facuet of my character that's pretty strong. So what with not fitting in and trying to but my character being too strong for that... it was hard. But that's past now.
Layer Eight
Age you're hoping to be married: Either I marry The One, or I won't marry. So the age is inconsequential. [okay but I think earlier is better if that helps. haha.]
Layer Nine
In a Girl/Boy [I'm assuming mine's Boy, because I'm a girl.]
Best eye colour: Oh, as long as it's looked at me adoringly.
Best hair colour: His natural one; I'm quite sure of that.
Short or long hair: SHORT.
Layer Ten
What were you doing
1 minute ago: A rather enjoyable, if stupid, quiz. This quiz.
1 hour ago: Another quiz. hahaha.
4.5 hours ago: That would be... about 740? Doing QT with kayan.
1 month ago: 16th dec? being harassed by a mad woman on the bus. really. really!
1 year ago: haha! it was my first day at being a teacher of my p2 kids! goodness that has to be one of the most memorable days of my life, and I've got about twenty x 365 of them to choose from. [pause] okay I went to my archives and went to read my first post about teaching.. I think it's quite funny. You should read it too!
Layer Eleven
Finish the sentence
I love: God
I feel: rather rushed now because I have to shower and everything because I have driving soon and then training + a match when I get back but I'm supposed to find out what transubstantiation is and be able to explain why it's wrong from a biblical point of view before QT with tomorrow!
I hate: irresponsibility. and sadly, I think I'm guilty of that too.
I hide: a lot of things.
I miss: I told you, I'm not delving into memories.
I need: God.
Layer Twelve
Tag 5 people to do this
I did this on a whim, because I'm impulsive and prone to sudden inexplicable activities. Not going to inflict this capricious part of me on anyone.
_________________________
I'd do another quiz, but I really do need to leave about now. what a pity. maybe I'll do some more later.. if I have the energy. grin. It really is rather draining, you know. okay and you don't have to read if you don't want to. Not that you ever had to. haha. Well, here I conclude 2 hours and 40 minutes of directed musing.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
mirror
As a response to my previous post, my beloved brother joe [yes you heard me right I am somewhat fond of you.. but this is the only time you're ever going to see this] sent me 'mirror' by barlowgirl. I looked up the lyrics online, and found it really fitting. So even though I still don't know how to copy and paste in blogger [yesyes, computer doob I know], I have decided to take the effort to type out the entire thing.
Mirror
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me
You don't define me, you don't define me
[p/s okay and then I did manage to copy and paste it :D pretty good lyrics, no?]
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
saying grace before my meal
Dear God, thank You for food. Please Lord, I pray that I will always eat properly, even if I've been told twice today that I've grown fatter. Father I pray that I will not base my self-worth on how skinny I look, but remember godly christian sisters who enjoy life and love those around them regardless of their physical apparences. Help me to appreciate food and remember the hands that prepared it. That, even if I'm in eusoff and am surrounded in a culture that largely values the outside of people, Lord I pray that I will always desire what You desire. [I don't think that includes being skinny and slender.] Help me not be aneroxic or bullemic idon'tknowhowtospellthosewords. I do love You more than that. Help me base my identity on You.
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
loves
and then the thing about fevers is that they drain you, of all energy, so that you lie in bed spasming interally, and the physical manifestations just toss and turn your body so that the water in the bed shifts to accomodate you, and then a new spot on the bed is too cold, and you sigh at the thought of having to warm yet another place. more importantly though, this time the fever was a post-ceedence of coming back from Home, so that as my body and brain are occupied with this strange internal trembling the limbs have picked up [like a new hobby, albeit a disasterous one], there is no time when I can grieve for leaving my heart's Home.
My heart's Home, where children play and cows' bells clang, where swaydee [which is "beautiful" in thai] sleeps in the sun and lahu songs are strummed over the air. Where I look out over fields and fields, and mountain ranges. Where robert teaches the Bible every morning, and dara wields her sweet influence over the home.
Yet there is something to be said for returning to singapore, I suppose. Not least because I know there are people here who love and miss me, and wonderfully, take the time to tell me so. If only I could import all of you with me to thailand, to chiang mai, to fang, to den luang village, to the Christian Home of Love. Then all would be quite perfect, and I would have found my utopia.
My heart's Home, where children play and cows' bells clang, where swaydee [which is "beautiful" in thai] sleeps in the sun and lahu songs are strummed over the air. Where I look out over fields and fields, and mountain ranges. Where robert teaches the Bible every morning, and dara wields her sweet influence over the home.
Yet there is something to be said for returning to singapore, I suppose. Not least because I know there are people here who love and miss me, and wonderfully, take the time to tell me so. If only I could import all of you with me to thailand, to chiang mai, to fang, to den luang village, to the Christian Home of Love. Then all would be quite perfect, and I would have found my utopia.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)