Wednesday, April 23, 2008

you see, sometimes love doesn't seem worth very much

chel says: oh okay. yeah i should be.... probably earlier than you though. (: what are you doing now?

lyage says: just got home not long ago. gonna bathe / prep for interview i guess. you?

chel says: so late?? i'm just sitting here... just watched a documentary on deep sea life so i'm quite (: , but at the same time i'm mostly wondering why i bother keeping my heart

lyage says: my dear. that depends on keeping your heart from WHO??
actually if the right person does come along, i don't think it's any more righteous keeping our hearts than giving it away right?

chel says: sigh. true. but it's hard keeping, while waiting for this right person to come.
and arrrghhhhhh right now i'm just remembering the way he's so happy to see me, bears with me and tries to make me smile

lyage says: ):
ahh, yes that sounds like something hard to fight off.
rachhhhhhhhhel pray pray pray for strength
God ALREADY has someone perfect planned for you
You know i remember once someone telling me. it's like. how we sometimes have to make sacrifices to do what's right before God.
How we sometimes have to get out of our comfort zones.
and it might be painful,
but how we must remember that Jesus did exactly the same for us.
How HE got out of HIS comfort zone to come down to earth, dwell among us sinners,
die on the cross.
and THAT is a sacrifice greater and more painful that what we will ever come close to bearing
so, will we do that for Him too. I thought that was something thought provoking for me. maybe you could think about that too(:

chel says: Jesus seems so far away. so His deeds seem cold and hard too. God seems closer. but even then He's still some way away.

lyage says: yes i know what you mean. sometimes i really want God to be closer to me. sometimes he really does feel distant. but i guess He's closer than we imagine, or feel.
he DWELLS inside us man. I think, we could BOTH think of,
living for christ, having a heart for HIM before anyone else.
and being out of our comfort zone if it means being closer to Him, just like He got out of His comfort zone to save us.

chel says: having a heart for Him before anyone else.... this was one of the things i was thinking of, tonight. why give it to Him? why not lock it up, and throw the keys away? giving my heart to Someone else means having to trust Him with it.. that He knows what's best.
but the way i'm feeling tonight, i'm not so sure i want to let Him try me again and again.. as rude as that sounds

lyage says: yes.
"let Him try me again and again"
you know. i used to think that to, and i believe i still am prone to. that God TRIES us.
And he sometimes challenges,
with all these trials and all these things to fight off and GOD why why do you put all these in our lives.
but then i'm learning that it really makes Him sound like a coldhearted, distant disciplinarian, when that cannot be further from what he really is?
because he really, really, is. actually and only. Love. isn't He.

chel says: but there's a lot to love
God chastens those He loves

4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

it doesn't say that Love chastens
but it seems that He does
and it is hard to understand why
and if He isn't a cold hearted disciplinarian, but only Love, then why?

lyage says: TRUST HIS LOVE.
because sometimes these are challenges just because it isn't OUR way.
not that it is actually a hard way.
becuase steering us from what we think we want is always hard, but he's steering us to something BETTER. that's why!
THAT"S WHY.
and he will lead us to green pastures rachel, let him take our handssss.
and let's just trust Him.
and wait upon Him.
tht's what it's all about right? about giving Him our lives and that means trusting him with it.
i don't know. i don't know too much too.
but let's try.

chel says:aye yes. i forgot, that these are challenges sometimes because it isn't the i-want way. got too caught up.
i'll trust

lyage says: hahaha .i love you rachel, we're not going to give up okay.
i've gotta go noww, but keep praying, He'll keep strengthening. love much
GO SLEEP TOO
don't think too much(:
nightsss (:



i'll trust.
even if the rain warps the reality from my spectacles and my vision is blurred,
i'll not mind the stumbles that short-sightedness brings. i'll still trust that a tree remains a tree, even when i can't see for myself.
because i trust there will come a day, when i see wholly.
and on that day, i'll find that there was beauty even in the bane.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
Isa 40:31

rpd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rpd said...

hey. who wrote something and then deleted it? tell me tell me.