remembering

Happy birthday to my brother, who apparently feels ambivalent about turning fifteen.

That aside, the other noteworthy happening of the day was the sudden and completely unexpected return of immanuel and nathanael tan. I have thought about them now and then, and strangely quite a bit recently but thinking about and actually seeing are very different things. We also somewhat impulsively formed a team for the captain's ball competition which meant I basically spent the afternoon with them.

And at this time of their returning, as was six years ago, I find myself remembering remembering what we were like as children. My mom tells me nat used to call me princess, and that I had the hots for immanuel. well I do remember the latter actually. Remember nursing a crush the size of my heart on him, pretending we were meant to be; me, the awkward primary school kid who thought herself ugly. immanuel and nathanael were always the popular ones in sunday school, the pastor's sons. Somehow I never outgrew that. I remember I tried to feel horribly tragic and heartbroken singing childish songs in the bathroom the week they left [which didn't work at all], and even though it has been eleven years since, today, I still felt clumsy geeky and totally uncool next to these self-assured young men.


on a side note, jerome is back and will be here for a month.