A letter to Home.

Hi guys.

Today’s Christmas Day and oh man you won’t believe how much I missed you all. I was a wreck pretty much the entire day… cried while dressing for church, on the way to service, during service, after service… are you getting impatient with my tears yet?

I’m dressed really nicely. Pretty dress, small handbag, heels, diamond necklace and all. But I would gladly scramble out of them and dress as raggedly as I was in chiang mai, if it means getting to spend time with you all again.

The tears stopped at about four o’clock. It’s about seven now. I don’t know if they’ll come again; in any case, there’s just this dull ach inside me.

I don’t know why you have this effect on me. The closest I can figure is- you’re Home. And now I’m Homesick. It would make sense now wouldn’t it?

I’m back in the world. I’ve been able to beg off parties and gatherings so far but I’m not sure how long more I can give excuses. Or how long more before I’m back. Part of the world, changing my name to Becky Sharp. Mind you, I’ve never liked her.

The sky’s changing color; it’s seven now. Six, where you are. I miss you so much still.

Went to visit uncle michael at the chesire home today. It’s been half a year but he still remembers me. As I was telling him about you guys the tears came out and forgot to exit. So I had to out up with tissue fibre appearing all over my eyelids, and the embarrassment of crying in front of all the other visitors to the home. Uncle michael told me to stop, otherwise they’d think something had happened in my family. But like I said, the tears… Beside, I’d not be ashamed of any tear you cause. That’s why I didn’t mind doing it when they [the tears] came while walking along the streets, and everywhere else that they chose to make their grand entrance.

I’d like to tell you more, like how uncle michael has decided to make me his god-daughter and how I’m actually quite uncomfortable since I don’t think I’m mature enough for that responsibility but I’m running out of space and I’m getting cold out here.

Wish I was shivering with you guys. What larks we would have.

Missing you all very, very much.

Love, Rachel.