A Letter Home.

Dear Home,

I’ve decided-
That I’m giving till the end of the week to well. grieve over you. It’ll coincide with the new year too… so yeah. Besides, old hurts ought not to be carried into the new.
I’ve decided I’ll channel the huge amount of emotion I have within me into drive. Like what someone once said on a Sunday… Driven- For the right reasons. I’ll devote the time into becoming someone you’ll be proud of, someone God will be proud of.

… I’ll report to you okay?
Speaking of which, I’ve also decided to email [as in really email] you one month from now. I don’t know what the contents will be… that’ll depend on the events, and my attitude towards them. Yes?

Today was actually ummm. very mild.
I spent today with myself, then with my brother. Not bad huh. Ohoh I passed the evaluation thing, did you know? 90% was the minimum pass rate… guess what yours truly got.




It’s okay. You don’t really have to guess. I know you would if I really did tell you. I bet you’d have guessed 90%... and you’d have laughed when I said you’re right. Or maybe timothy wld’ve just nodded… you never really did care about most people anyway. I don’t know.


I’ve realized why I love the fairy lights so much. It isn’t just because they add such warmth to my room, and relaxes me. Although they do, do that. It isn’t even because it’s from chiang mai- although the reason’s linked to it.

It’s because I have nothing else to remind me of you. I don’t have a single photo of you, of any child, of anything. I have nothing but the fairy lights to connect you to me. I switch them on every night before I go to bed; and that helps me. I imagine I’m back Home, with you guys.
It’s hard not having anything concrete of you.
Because I’m really, really afraid of forgetting you.

Today’s Day Four… 3 more days for me… and six months more before I see you again [God willing].

With much love,
Rachel