we are such a race to be laughed at. diamonds we pay thousands upon thousands for, the bigger the diamond the greater the price. we prize them for being durable, for being, well, shiny, and the skill of the cut.
but there are literally billions, thrillions, of diamonds out there, out in the sky. we've found one of them- lucy- but there can only be an unfanthomable number more.
furthermore, the little bits of sparkly rocks (whose opportunity cost is the resource to feed hundreds of the poor) that cost so much, are actually floating around in space in sizes that blow the mind. You would need a jeweller's loupe the size of the Sun to grade this diamond, says astronomer Travis Metcalfe.
A loupe the size of the Sun!
We've got cosmic diamonds out there, diamonds the size of entire countries, and then beyond that. why are we obsessed with the grit and gravel that exist on earth, then? why are we fixated with these, and other chemical elements and metals?
i'm so not going to get a diamond for my wedding ring. in fact, i don't think i'll ever wear diamonds at all.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
God's word looks different when carefully read.
Psalm 27
1The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
3Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
4One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.
5For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
6And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
7Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
9Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
11Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Psalm 27
1The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
3Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
4One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.
5For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
6And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
7Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
8When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
9Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
11Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Monday, August 17, 2009
so this is what it means
Emphasis mine.
---
From F.B. Meyer (1847 - 1929)
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? (Romans 8:35)
The only matter about which the Apostle felt any anxiety was whether anything could cut him off from the living, loving Lord. Taking the extreme conditions, he carefully examines them, knowing that they include all in between. First he interrogates the extremes of existence, death and life; the extremes of created intelligences, angels and principalities and powers; the extremes of time, things present and things to come; the extremes of space, height and depth; lastly, the extremes of the created universe, any other creature. Each of these extremes thus passed in review, and he has eagerly peered into its depths. He is like a man proving every link of the chain on which he is going to swing out over the abyss. Carefully and fervently he has tested all, and is satisfied that none of them can cut him off from the love of God.
We strangely misjudge the love of God. We think that our distresses and sufferings, our sins and failures, may make Him love us less, whereas they will draw Him nearer, and make His love exert itself more evidently and tenderly. Oh, blessed love that comes down to us from the heart of Jesus, the essence of the eternal love of God dwelling there and coming through Jesus to us - nothing can staunch, nothing exhaust, nothing intercept it!
It will not let us go. It leaps the gulf of space untenanted, it bridges time unexhausted. It does not depend on our reciprocation or response. It is not our love that holds God, but God's that hold us. Not our love to Him, but His to us. And since nothing can separate us from the love of God, He will go on loving us for ever, and pouring into us the entire fullness of His life and glory.
[Nothing]... shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:39)
---
From F.B. Meyer (1847 - 1929)
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? (Romans 8:35)
The only matter about which the Apostle felt any anxiety was whether anything could cut him off from the living, loving Lord. Taking the extreme conditions, he carefully examines them, knowing that they include all in between. First he interrogates the extremes of existence, death and life; the extremes of created intelligences, angels and principalities and powers; the extremes of time, things present and things to come; the extremes of space, height and depth; lastly, the extremes of the created universe, any other creature. Each of these extremes thus passed in review, and he has eagerly peered into its depths. He is like a man proving every link of the chain on which he is going to swing out over the abyss. Carefully and fervently he has tested all, and is satisfied that none of them can cut him off from the love of God.
We strangely misjudge the love of God. We think that our distresses and sufferings, our sins and failures, may make Him love us less, whereas they will draw Him nearer, and make His love exert itself more evidently and tenderly. Oh, blessed love that comes down to us from the heart of Jesus, the essence of the eternal love of God dwelling there and coming through Jesus to us - nothing can staunch, nothing exhaust, nothing intercept it!
It will not let us go. It leaps the gulf of space untenanted, it bridges time unexhausted. It does not depend on our reciprocation or response. It is not our love that holds God, but God's that hold us. Not our love to Him, but His to us. And since nothing can separate us from the love of God, He will go on loving us for ever, and pouring into us the entire fullness of His life and glory.
[Nothing]... shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:39)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
At God's perfect timing
The passage that was given for today's devotions: 1st Peter 5:6-11
In KJV-
6Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
9Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
10But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
11To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
In ESV-
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,
7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
10And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
______________________________
For reading purposes (Chambers):
August 11, 2009
This Experience Must Come
ODB RADIO: | Download
READ:
Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. And Elisha . . . saw him no more —2 Kings 2:11-12
It is not wrong for you to depend on your "Elijah" for as long as God gives him to you. But remember that the time will come when he must leave and will no longer be your guide and your leader, because God does not intend for him to stay. Even the thought of that causes you to say, "I cannot continue without my ’Elijah.’ " Yet God says you must continue.
Alone at Your "Jordan" ( Kings 2:14 ).
The Jordan River represents the type of separation where you have no fellowship with anyone else, and where no one else can take your responsibility from you. You now have to put to the test what you learned when you were with your "Elijah." You have been to the Jordan over and over again with Elijah, but now you are facing it alone. There is no use in saying that you cannot go— the experience is here, and you must go. If you truly want to know whether or not God is the God your faith believes Him to be, then go through your "Jordan" alone.
Alone at Your "Jericho" ( 2 Kings 2:15 ).
Jericho represents the place where you have seen your "Elijah" do great things. Yet when you come alone to your "Jericho," you have a strong reluctance to take the initiative and trust in God, wanting, instead, for someone else to take it for you. But if you remain true to what you learned while with your "Elijah," you will receive a sign, as Elisha did, that God is with you.
Alone at Your "Bethel" ( 2 Kings 2:23 ).
At your "Bethel" you will find yourself at your wits’ end but at the beginning of God’s wisdom. When you come to your wits’ end and feel inclined to panic— don’t! Stand true to God and He will bring out His truth in a way that will make your life an expression of worship. Put into practice what you learned while with your "Elijah"— use his mantle and pray (see 2 Kings 2:13-14 ). Make a determination to trust in God, and do not even look for Elijah anymore.
>>>
Stand true to God. Make a determination to trust in God, and do not even look for Elijah anymore.
My utmost for His highest.
In KJV-
6Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
9Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
10But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
11To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
In ESV-
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,
7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
10And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
______________________________
For reading purposes (Chambers):
August 11, 2009
This Experience Must Come
ODB RADIO: | Download
READ:
Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. And Elisha . . . saw him no more —2 Kings 2:11-12
It is not wrong for you to depend on your "Elijah" for as long as God gives him to you. But remember that the time will come when he must leave and will no longer be your guide and your leader, because God does not intend for him to stay. Even the thought of that causes you to say, "I cannot continue without my ’Elijah.’ " Yet God says you must continue.
Alone at Your "Jordan" ( Kings 2:14 ).
The Jordan River represents the type of separation where you have no fellowship with anyone else, and where no one else can take your responsibility from you. You now have to put to the test what you learned when you were with your "Elijah." You have been to the Jordan over and over again with Elijah, but now you are facing it alone. There is no use in saying that you cannot go— the experience is here, and you must go. If you truly want to know whether or not God is the God your faith believes Him to be, then go through your "Jordan" alone.
Alone at Your "Jericho" ( 2 Kings 2:15 ).
Jericho represents the place where you have seen your "Elijah" do great things. Yet when you come alone to your "Jericho," you have a strong reluctance to take the initiative and trust in God, wanting, instead, for someone else to take it for you. But if you remain true to what you learned while with your "Elijah," you will receive a sign, as Elisha did, that God is with you.
Alone at Your "Bethel" ( 2 Kings 2:23 ).
At your "Bethel" you will find yourself at your wits’ end but at the beginning of God’s wisdom. When you come to your wits’ end and feel inclined to panic— don’t! Stand true to God and He will bring out His truth in a way that will make your life an expression of worship. Put into practice what you learned while with your "Elijah"— use his mantle and pray (see 2 Kings 2:13-14 ). Make a determination to trust in God, and do not even look for Elijah anymore.
>>>
Stand true to God. Make a determination to trust in God, and do not even look for Elijah anymore.
My utmost for His highest.
Friday, August 07, 2009
a conversation
pea: so, did any of the guys hit on you?
me: err, so and so didn't.
pea: so he did la. i thought so.
me: but there's nothing going on. anyway, why? is he a flirt?
pea: no la, it's just that you're a normal girl, and he's a normal guy... (trails off)
me: oh, so like you and a huh.
pea: no, different.
me: why?
pea: because.. guys like liking you.
oh pea, is that the final conclusion? that it's all one and the same situation anyway, and so there will be nothing really special about the guy i finally choose? that it might as well have been him, him or him, none of them loving me particularly beyond what the rest have already deemed fair.
ay. don't mind me. those were unreasonable questions. it's just a little raw still, what i confessed today.
me: err, so and so didn't.
pea: so he did la. i thought so.
me: but there's nothing going on. anyway, why? is he a flirt?
pea: no la, it's just that you're a normal girl, and he's a normal guy... (trails off)
me: oh, so like you and a huh.
pea: no, different.
me: why?
pea: because.. guys like liking you.
oh pea, is that the final conclusion? that it's all one and the same situation anyway, and so there will be nothing really special about the guy i finally choose? that it might as well have been him, him or him, none of them loving me particularly beyond what the rest have already deemed fair.
ay. don't mind me. those were unreasonable questions. it's just a little raw still, what i confessed today.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
The Bewildering Call of God
"This bewildering call of God comes into our lives as well. The call of God can never be understood absolutely or explained externally; it is a call that can only be perceived and understood internally by our true inner-nature. The call of God is like the call of the sea— no one hears it except the person who has the nature of the sea in him. What God calls us to cannot be definitely stated, because His call is simply to be His friend to accomplish His own purposes. Our real test is in truly believing that God knows what He desires. The things that happen do not happen by chance— they happen entirely by the decree of God. God is sovereignly working out His own purposes."
That what is happening in my life now, is not my own purpose (which definitely isn't, because if i had my way things would be different) but God's. God sovereignly working out His own purpose. There are many threads now, thick ones, thin ones, soft threads, taut threads. Somehow, He's weaving them, and these will one day be beautiful. It will take a lifetime, but these will one day be beautiful. It's not my own purpose. Why is this so hard to accept? These days I am happier in my dreams than in the waking world.
"If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, "I wonder why God allowed this or that?" And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God."
Consider everything up there bolded. So there comes a point in time when I don't even struggle to find out His purposes. I surf along with trust. I don't push for my own agenda anymore; I don't even demand to know His. I trust, because I have seen His knowledge, wisdom and love, and the more I trust the more I see His divine hand in everything in life.
Okay. am sorry, but right now it's just painful. will try, though.
That what is happening in my life now, is not my own purpose (which definitely isn't, because if i had my way things would be different) but God's. God sovereignly working out His own purpose. There are many threads now, thick ones, thin ones, soft threads, taut threads. Somehow, He's weaving them, and these will one day be beautiful. It will take a lifetime, but these will one day be beautiful. It's not my own purpose. Why is this so hard to accept? These days I am happier in my dreams than in the waking world.
"If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, "I wonder why God allowed this or that?" And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God."
Consider everything up there bolded. So there comes a point in time when I don't even struggle to find out His purposes. I surf along with trust. I don't push for my own agenda anymore; I don't even demand to know His. I trust, because I have seen His knowledge, wisdom and love, and the more I trust the more I see His divine hand in everything in life.
Okay. am sorry, but right now it's just painful. will try, though.
Monday, August 03, 2009
i dunch kei-air you
1. What time did you get up this morning?
9.15 a.m, perhaps, but the better question to ask is did I sleep. Insonmia has been something I've been at since I've been back from Mongolia.
2. How do you like your steak?
I'm leaning towards rare.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Ice Age 3 :)
4. What is your favorite TV show?
narh
5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
hmmmm. unsure. perhaps italy, where all them romantic guys are.
6. What did you have for breakfast?
narh
7. What’s your favorite cuisine?
singaporean
8. What foods do you dislike?
peas!
9. Where is your favorite place to eat?
narh
10. What is your favorite salad dressing?
olive oil with that sour vaguely bile-like liquid
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
a wee car that still looks real big to me. there's smth wrong with my sense of perception.
12. What are your favorite clothes?
dresses :) bought six yesterday! YAY.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
argentina, maybe.
14. Is the cup half empty or half full?
the cup is scared/nervous.
15. Where would you want to retire?
open secret.
16. What is your favorite time of the day?
narh
17. Where were you born?
singapore
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
hmm. netball/ulty, maybe. but soccer/rubgy during the world cups.
19. Are you a bird watcher? there's only one bird i'd want to watch, but we'd have to go to mongolia for that.
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? idk.
21. What did you want to be where you were little?
oh dear. i wanted to open a fish-shop with my best friend. we were five. (this is the third time in three days i'm recounting this ambition.)
22. What’s your best childhood memory?
loving daddy and mommy and being loved back. stability.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
quite possibly. backpacking in developing countries makes you take that strip of cloth seriously.
24. Do you have any pet peeves?
bad breath, i think. ohoh. upturned collars, def. anddddd. uncapped pens. or maybe these come under idiocyncracies.
25. Favorite type of pizza? narh
26. Favorite flower?
the pretty intricate ones.
27. Favorite ice cream?
toss up between durian and chocolate.
28. Have you done anything spontaneous lately?
depends on how lately. probably.
29. Do you like your job? don't have one.
30. Do you like broccoli?
i bear with it.
9.15 a.m, perhaps, but the better question to ask is did I sleep. Insonmia has been something I've been at since I've been back from Mongolia.
2. How do you like your steak?
I'm leaning towards rare.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Ice Age 3 :)
4. What is your favorite TV show?
narh
5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
hmmmm. unsure. perhaps italy, where all them romantic guys are.
6. What did you have for breakfast?
narh
7. What’s your favorite cuisine?
singaporean
8. What foods do you dislike?
peas!
9. Where is your favorite place to eat?
narh
10. What is your favorite salad dressing?
olive oil with that sour vaguely bile-like liquid
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
a wee car that still looks real big to me. there's smth wrong with my sense of perception.
12. What are your favorite clothes?
dresses :) bought six yesterday! YAY.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
argentina, maybe.
14. Is the cup half empty or half full?
the cup is scared/nervous.
15. Where would you want to retire?
open secret.
16. What is your favorite time of the day?
narh
17. Where were you born?
singapore
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
hmm. netball/ulty, maybe. but soccer/rubgy during the world cups.
19. Are you a bird watcher? there's only one bird i'd want to watch, but we'd have to go to mongolia for that.
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? idk.
21. What did you want to be where you were little?
oh dear. i wanted to open a fish-shop with my best friend. we were five. (this is the third time in three days i'm recounting this ambition.)
22. What’s your best childhood memory?
loving daddy and mommy and being loved back. stability.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
quite possibly. backpacking in developing countries makes you take that strip of cloth seriously.
24. Do you have any pet peeves?
bad breath, i think. ohoh. upturned collars, def. anddddd. uncapped pens. or maybe these come under idiocyncracies.
25. Favorite type of pizza? narh
26. Favorite flower?
the pretty intricate ones.
27. Favorite ice cream?
toss up between durian and chocolate.
28. Have you done anything spontaneous lately?
depends on how lately. probably.
29. Do you like your job? don't have one.
30. Do you like broccoli?
i bear with it.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Whose perspective
God's, or mine.
What I think about my current circumstances- is my desired end all I'm working towards? Do I remember that there's eternity, that I'm naught but vapour in the wind? A fool focuses on keeping what is not his in the first place.
Like, life. We don't control when we live and when we die.
A proposed resolution, then: that I work not towards what I simply don't have the power over, but live each day I've got, faithfully, vesting it towards eternity.
Amen.
What I think about my current circumstances- is my desired end all I'm working towards? Do I remember that there's eternity, that I'm naught but vapour in the wind? A fool focuses on keeping what is not his in the first place.
Like, life. We don't control when we live and when we die.
A proposed resolution, then: that I work not towards what I simply don't have the power over, but live each day I've got, faithfully, vesting it towards eternity.
Amen.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
a high view of God
a high view of God.
i remember pea talking about it before, with wei shieng and i at ice cream maybe.
a high view to- remember afresh just WHO God is. and be in awe and reverent fear.
and then. my life in response to that rememberance anew.
God, give me a high view of You.
i remember pea talking about it before, with wei shieng and i at ice cream maybe.
a high view to- remember afresh just WHO God is. and be in awe and reverent fear.
and then. my life in response to that rememberance anew.
God, give me a high view of You.
Monday, July 27, 2009
1. What is your current obsession?
i don't think i have one
2. What are you wearing today?
embarrassedly pink; bright pink sister shirt, pink boxers with hearts all over them- i'm not usually like this.
3. What’s for dinner?
not hungry; might not eat tonight
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
teh peng
5. What are you listening to right now?
justin taylor's 'cheesy little love song'; it really is quite cute (:
6. What is your favorite quote?
7. What language do you want to learn?
spanish is the love
8. What do you love most about where you currently live?
the food(:
9. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
to your heart (isn't that a nice, cliched answer; i don't mean any of it)
10. If you could do or be anything (career wise), what would you be?
xxyy
11. What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
mmm. maybe my butterfly dress (:
12. Describe your personal style?
narh
13. Do you collect anything?
dresses? haha
14. What makes you follow a blog?
the quality of writing
15. What makes you comment on a blog?
rarely
16. What is the most enjoyable thing you did today?
watch butterflies from a bench; should be writing about it on doingthekiwi
17. What’s your favorite thing to do when you have free time?
enjoy it
i don't think i have one
2. What are you wearing today?
embarrassedly pink; bright pink sister shirt, pink boxers with hearts all over them- i'm not usually like this.
3. What’s for dinner?
not hungry; might not eat tonight
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
teh peng
5. What are you listening to right now?
justin taylor's 'cheesy little love song'; it really is quite cute (:
6. What is your favorite quote?
The feminine soul is of a simplicity incredible to man. Where there is but-Aphrodite by Pierre Louys
a straight line they obstinately seek the complexity of a web, they find space
and lose themselves in it.
7. What language do you want to learn?
spanish is the love
8. What do you love most about where you currently live?
the food(:
9. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
to your heart (isn't that a nice, cliched answer; i don't mean any of it)
10. If you could do or be anything (career wise), what would you be?
xxyy
11. What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
mmm. maybe my butterfly dress (:
12. Describe your personal style?
narh
13. Do you collect anything?
dresses? haha
14. What makes you follow a blog?
the quality of writing
15. What makes you comment on a blog?
rarely
16. What is the most enjoyable thing you did today?
watch butterflies from a bench; should be writing about it on doingthekiwi
17. What’s your favorite thing to do when you have free time?
enjoy it
Today's meditation: Philippians 2:12-18 which, incidentally, was also brought up yesterday during ag. mm.
i suppose one of the biggest reasons for doing things right (there the phrase is, again), is because we are shiny people. shiny, shining, you know. like lights. there are many ways to say this, and many approaches that have already been expounded on, but i suppose in philippians Paul is saying that our starting point is this: we shine as lights in the world, so do all things without murmurings or disputings, that we may be blameless and harmless in what we are called to be. geddit?
and i guess the whole point about shining is that it is for the sake of noticing. the shining testifies to something. Or rather, Someone. The greatest Love that redeems all our lostness and despair, even when we have nothing to give in return.
and lest we say we are inherently good: do you know what we are each capable of?
matthew 15:19- "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies"
Initially we trust in our ignorance, calling it innocence, and next we trust our innocence, calling it purity. Then when we hear these strong statements from our Lord, we shrink back, saying, "But I never felt any of those awful things in my heart." We resent what He reveals. Either Jesus Christ is the supreme authority on the human heart, or He is not worth paying any attention to. Am I prepared to trust the penetration of His Word into my heart, or would I prefer to trust my own "innocent ignorance"? If I will take an honest look at myself, becoming fully aware of my so-called innocence and putting it to the test, I am very likely to have a rude awakening that what Jesus Christ said is true, and I will be appalled at the possibilities of the evil and the wrong within me. But as long as I remain under the false security of my own "innocence," I am living in a fool’s paradise. If I have never been an openly rude and abusive person, the only reason is my own cowardice coupled with the sense of protection I receive from living a civilized life. But when I am open and completely exposed before God, I find that Jesus Christ is right in His diagnosis of me.
The only thing that truly provides protection is the redemption of Jesus Christ. If I will simply hand myself over to Him, I will never have to experience the terrible possibilities that lie within my heart. Purity is something far too deep for me to arrive at naturally. But when the Holy Spirit comes into me, He brings into the center of my personal life the very Spirit that was exhibited in the life of Jesus Christ, namely, the Holy Spirit, which is absolute unblemished purity.
- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
guess i can relate to what chamber calls the disgust at the possbilities of the evil and wrong within me. i've been seeing more and more of what i can be, and it's horrible. i would hate me. i would be bitter, i would be scheming, i would be shallow. i would be absolutely cold.
thank God, then, for Christ! He who was sent to save me from myself, and who did what was necessary to overcome all that is evil and ugly. He has begun a work within me.
i suppose one of the biggest reasons for doing things right (there the phrase is, again), is because we are shiny people. shiny, shining, you know. like lights. there are many ways to say this, and many approaches that have already been expounded on, but i suppose in philippians Paul is saying that our starting point is this: we shine as lights in the world, so do all things without murmurings or disputings, that we may be blameless and harmless in what we are called to be. geddit?
and i guess the whole point about shining is that it is for the sake of noticing. the shining testifies to something. Or rather, Someone. The greatest Love that redeems all our lostness and despair, even when we have nothing to give in return.
and lest we say we are inherently good: do you know what we are each capable of?
matthew 15:19- "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies"
Initially we trust in our ignorance, calling it innocence, and next we trust our innocence, calling it purity. Then when we hear these strong statements from our Lord, we shrink back, saying, "But I never felt any of those awful things in my heart." We resent what He reveals. Either Jesus Christ is the supreme authority on the human heart, or He is not worth paying any attention to. Am I prepared to trust the penetration of His Word into my heart, or would I prefer to trust my own "innocent ignorance"? If I will take an honest look at myself, becoming fully aware of my so-called innocence and putting it to the test, I am very likely to have a rude awakening that what Jesus Christ said is true, and I will be appalled at the possibilities of the evil and the wrong within me. But as long as I remain under the false security of my own "innocence," I am living in a fool’s paradise. If I have never been an openly rude and abusive person, the only reason is my own cowardice coupled with the sense of protection I receive from living a civilized life. But when I am open and completely exposed before God, I find that Jesus Christ is right in His diagnosis of me.
The only thing that truly provides protection is the redemption of Jesus Christ. If I will simply hand myself over to Him, I will never have to experience the terrible possibilities that lie within my heart. Purity is something far too deep for me to arrive at naturally. But when the Holy Spirit comes into me, He brings into the center of my personal life the very Spirit that was exhibited in the life of Jesus Christ, namely, the Holy Spirit, which is absolute unblemished purity.
- Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
guess i can relate to what chamber calls the disgust at the possbilities of the evil and wrong within me. i've been seeing more and more of what i can be, and it's horrible. i would hate me. i would be bitter, i would be scheming, i would be shallow. i would be absolutely cold.
thank God, then, for Christ! He who was sent to save me from myself, and who did what was necessary to overcome all that is evil and ugly. He has begun a work within me.
here i am, dear sir, faithful with the report you once requested, but might never see.
night one: i received your farewell text at 1919hrs, and duly replied at 1945hrs. we have cut off communication. spend the night with mommy walking around bugis. she buys me figs and we go shopping. at home, in bed i work very hard and by midnight i am no longer melancholic. but that change might as well be useless, for still you fill my thoughts, they rise up as bubbles and stop at the ceiling, slowly permeating the room. throughout the night thought bubble after thought bubble of you leaves my mind and form the next layer, i am creating my own doom. sometimes the stickfigures walk out of the thought bubbles and poke each other, interacting. by the time dawn breaks there is no airspace anymore; the entire room is filled and presses down upon me, i am on the brink of suffocating but my mom wakes up to prepare for church and also opens my room door. the thought bubbles fly out, float casually, and i realise i have slept another night with my eyes wide open.
after church: i think i am mad at you.
sunday: is spent busy, and by the time dinner with your brother and my friends is over i am no longer angry. that stopped many hours ago, actually. but still i do not return to mourning.
today is the one and a half day mark. the outside weather reflects the inside state. there's a term i studied in the gothic, but cannot remember how to spell. menotomy? in any case, let me dutifully note the weather: languid, cloudy, gloomy, the aftermath of prolonged rain. cold.
i do not allow myself to miss you, nor want you with me.
i mean it: i do not miss you, nor want you with me.
after church: i think i am mad at you.
sunday: is spent busy, and by the time dinner with your brother and my friends is over i am no longer angry. that stopped many hours ago, actually. but still i do not return to mourning.
today is the one and a half day mark. the outside weather reflects the inside state. there's a term i studied in the gothic, but cannot remember how to spell. menotomy? in any case, let me dutifully note the weather: languid, cloudy, gloomy, the aftermath of prolonged rain. cold.
i do not allow myself to miss you, nor want you with me.
i mean it: i do not miss you, nor want you with me.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
never before has a week so dragged
1.
"One reason for not receiving answers from God is that sin may be blocking our hearing. Let’s examine ourselves carefully."
is sin blocking my hearing? i really wouldn't want that. i've been trying. i think.
it seems like everything's been put on fast-forward, even one montish, that crazy but kinda nice phrase, when i blinked it became two. fast-forwarding is ultimately no good, i think. things get lost in the blur.
sometimes sanctification and other theological words seem so separate from the daily reality of my life. like, sanctification seems all that is serious (though good), a little solemn, a little stern. daily life is.. a struggle, a happiness, a swirl of colours and blend over and over again. them theological words are unyielding like the walls of a gothic church. gray, and unrelenting.
but if sanctification is Christ in me, then... He becomes part of what i called daily life, no? and the two ideas have to come together. whether integrated, melded, or clashed into unity, (hopefully not), i don't know. but sanctification must be as part of my colour playing as anything else is. and my actions now, though really, quite detachedly interesting in how it's all dramatic and purposeful, must deliberately include sanctification. i mean, the process and our decisions are undoubtedly good for scantification, but if i am not conscious of the work that is going on, i would think i'm losing out. here, then. alright. what we're going through, is sanctification. and. it's not boring. sanctification is not boring. it's as colourful as anything i've got in my own palette, and then some. awesome, interesting, and all that. i like this conclusion. till the next time.
2.
from lotsofscotts:
as is currently relevant.
.
3. oh, i might as well announce. tiang is leaving me. as has everyone else. a.b.a.n.d.o.n.e.d.
"One reason for not receiving answers from God is that sin may be blocking our hearing. Let’s examine ourselves carefully."
is sin blocking my hearing? i really wouldn't want that. i've been trying. i think.
it seems like everything's been put on fast-forward, even one montish, that crazy but kinda nice phrase, when i blinked it became two. fast-forwarding is ultimately no good, i think. things get lost in the blur.
sometimes sanctification and other theological words seem so separate from the daily reality of my life. like, sanctification seems all that is serious (though good), a little solemn, a little stern. daily life is.. a struggle, a happiness, a swirl of colours and blend over and over again. them theological words are unyielding like the walls of a gothic church. gray, and unrelenting.
but if sanctification is Christ in me, then... He becomes part of what i called daily life, no? and the two ideas have to come together. whether integrated, melded, or clashed into unity, (hopefully not), i don't know. but sanctification must be as part of my colour playing as anything else is. and my actions now, though really, quite detachedly interesting in how it's all dramatic and purposeful, must deliberately include sanctification. i mean, the process and our decisions are undoubtedly good for scantification, but if i am not conscious of the work that is going on, i would think i'm losing out. here, then. alright. what we're going through, is sanctification. and. it's not boring. sanctification is not boring. it's as colourful as anything i've got in my own palette, and then some. awesome, interesting, and all that. i like this conclusion. till the next time.
2.
from lotsofscotts:
Don't try to 'fix' each other--let God do that. Instead, look for ways to
love one another well.
Seek God's guidance on how to glorify Him through your marriage. What a
nonstop opportunity it is to practice selflessness, grace, forgiveness and
unconditional love!
as is currently relevant.
.
3. oh, i might as well announce. tiang is leaving me. as has everyone else. a.b.a.n.d.o.n.e.d.
Monday, July 20, 2009
1. shift perspective, and turn attention to what truly matters. it might (hah) seem like a small step, but it's significant.
ephesians 4:17-24 reminds us that if we have learnt Christ, then we are to a., put off the old man, b., be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and c., put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
doing what's right. hah. tis the new catchphrase around here.
ephesians 4:17-24 reminds us that if we have learnt Christ, then we are to a., put off the old man, b., be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and c., put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
doing what's right. hah. tis the new catchphrase around here.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Christianity, Explored
1. it sounds good.
2. went to dempsey road last night with joel; it was good and i enjoyed meself. i like the name dempsey, it sounds like damsel and reminds me of the damselfly. which is another pretty word. word, mind you. i'm not so sure of the real thing.
3. the unsaid. i've been thinking about it now and then; hello, do you regret saying what you did earlier on? moment of weakness, my foot.. you're going down the wrong path can't you see i'm not going to let you drag me down too. it's about timing and rightness innit. i mean, if you want to do something, at the end of the day, do it right.
4. i'm still bent on saying goodbye.
2. went to dempsey road last night with joel; it was good and i enjoyed meself. i like the name dempsey, it sounds like damsel and reminds me of the damselfly. which is another pretty word. word, mind you. i'm not so sure of the real thing.
3. the unsaid. i've been thinking about it now and then; hello, do you regret saying what you did earlier on? moment of weakness, my foot.. you're going down the wrong path can't you see i'm not going to let you drag me down too. it's about timing and rightness innit. i mean, if you want to do something, at the end of the day, do it right.
4. i'm still bent on saying goodbye.
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