the going-ons in my head; out with the old, in with the new

quick note after a post from lotsofscotts i really echo:

it's not about doing, doing doing. constant checklists to make sure i am here, or there, at this point in life, at that point in life. or to allow the current circumstances or moods in what i'm going through become the point of my life. to be mastered by what i think i should be, or should do. i cannot be characterised by what i need to do/work on; i have gifts i possess.

in my own strength in my own tries i will never score. i can't fix myself at all, and definitely not by pasting a mental checklist of where i am and where i should be, and how to get there. that's all wrong. i can't muster anything from my flesh.

Summary, in point form:
1. it's not about doing.
2. current circumstances and moods cannot become the point.
3. i cannot be mastered by what i think i should be, or should do.
4. i cannot characterise myself by what i need to work on.
5. i can't fix myself, i can't muster anything from the flesh.
6. i have gifts i possess, given by my Father.
7. if i can't do anything, what can i do? - nothing.

i can't do anything. the frantic hands flying hard at work, the stress and pressure from pre-emting preemting pre-emting- stop, rachel. stop anticipating, second-guessing, working. especially in your head. let your thoughts dwell on another, better source instead.

... whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

there are lovelier things to fill my mind with.