it's been, years, since i've last been like this. breaking down just about every night. it's been for a couple of weeks now.
just went through one event, then another comes.
God, what are You trying to teach me?
i know i have issues, and a heart softer than i would like it to be, but do i have to fling myself on my bed night after night, sobbing, until i am out of tears and can only stare blankly at the screen, drained and weary?
but when all's said and done, i am still in a far better state than i know i was in the previous times, where i hid a knife in the room so that i could cut myself.
3 comments:
i'm hoping that you meant that last line as a metaphor.
i still remember a few years back when you msged me about said knife, and i was in a bus going back home. it really hurt to know that. while yes, i know you care a lot for the family, but remember that there are many people who care for you too, and it hurts them to see you hurting as well.
so be strong =) easier said than done, yes, but certainly not impossible. one of the beatitudes is 'blessed are those who mourn, for they SHALL be comforted'. sth i learnt. notice most of the beatitude promises are in future tense, meaning, the comfort may not necessarily come now. but it IS promised, and we shall receive it in time to come =)
interesting, my word verification thingy is 'shelter'. seems quite apt =)
okay urmmmm hello umpies. this post was because of sibling issues. so not really abt the foo family la.
<3 you both, very much.
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