I was looking at my edit posts tab, and I realised that I have at least three unyet published posts sitting around, uncompleted unsettled. But tying up open ends takes energy because I'd want a perfect- or as close as I can get to perfect- knot. It's not very much use tying messy knots if they only open up again. So they'll sit there quietly for awhile more. I don't have the energy needed to deal with them; they're the patient, sad kind of posts. Reminiscents- because I took excursions down the lane of memory of mistakes of missing people. They're posts of hopelessness. And hopelessness is the most impossible sadness of all, because mistakes made can't be undone, memories are past and won't- can't- turn back to reality and the people I'm missing are people whom I possibly will never see again and they're people I love so much.

I meant to go on about how watching hairspray got me wishing I have a perfect boyfriend too, but I don't think I will.