I was just complaining to one of my girlfriends that relationships are complicated things and that I'd be better off being a modern nun.

And the more I think about it, the more inclined I am to agree with myself, like some schiz-schoizoschizophrenic except that in this case it simply goes to show that I am so right that I have to agree with myself.


And because I have all these thoughts in my head that synergise in a mean way that leaves me with much substance but no language with which to actualise them, I shall make a list.

Why I am sad:
I am missing my boys, whom I will not see so often from now on. I have spent about seven weeks of my life with them, seeing them every single day laughing scolding joking being entertained by their boyish nonsense and I will not have that anymore and for that reason I miss them enough to be teary now. I shall not see their faces everyday anymore will not be escorted by my self-proclaimed bodyguards to the staffroom because they want to miss as much of the next lesson as they can. Will not be beleaguered by them with every conceiveable request madam can we go to the sac madam can we play games madam can we buy sausages madam can I beat him up madam can we have your email handphone madam let's go out madam can we talk about eyebrows madam madam madam. They will go about their lives and so will I, only that now our lives will not be so closely intertwined.

I meant to make a list, for there are three or four reasons more, but for now this will suffice and I am glad to have verbalised and made into reality what was previously just an ache inside myself. There. I have gotten it out, somewhat. Now I shall go for yf.