hello. I survived. as in.. I survived a fever, a throat infection, cough and everything else. Got over them in a couple of days. all thanks to God. no other reason.
I don't know what to say.. or how to express what I mean.
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
it's like
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
i spend day in and out trying to get their attention. it's so hard. i want to teach but they won't listen. it's discouraging, and the fact that i'm a chrisitian teacher makes it no less easier.
i have to remember that i model christ's love, and it's something i struggle with everyday.
how can i teach faithfully when i cannot get them to listen to me?
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
i don't know how to handle young children en masse
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
i don't like punishments
i think they're stupid
and that's another thing
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
there's a personality clash between the job requirement and who i am. they're at the habit forming age, where i have to consistently remind them of certain routines. but i don't like routine. and that makes it worse, because that is what they are supposed to develop now
like signing of forms, queuing up to go everywhere, handling their social problems when they squabble and complain to me 24.7...
where is teaching in all this? how am i supposed to do anything?
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
i just want to go to a secondary school
where they're older and can read and write
iwhere i can convince them of the importance of studying
where i can be a friend, mentor or whatever to them
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
yet i feel God has something for me to learn in this primary school. and that it will be only after i learn it, that He'll let me go
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
but i don't know what it is!
kind of in a limbo. uneasy.. yes i do feel that to a certain extent
i lost my chiang mai rubber band says:
i need to know if i can work with adolescents. i was a camp instructor for awhile.. and it was great.
Vince says:
but i guess a camp is different..
Vince says:
they have certain amount of choice or at least its not studying
the umpire lives again says:
yeah i know. that's why i need to work in a school
Vince says:
wat do u think God is trying to teach u that u havent learnt
Vince says:
(sorry it sounds odd.. cos u wouldnt noe would u)
the umpire lives again says:
narh.. these words come to mind. patience? love? perseverence? not-to-murder-skills?
Vince says:
lol... ok.. they're that ruffian-nic eh?
the umpire lives again says:
it's like. i don't really look foward to school anymore at all..
Vince says:
well perhaps u can just start looking out for a secondary school nearby.
the umpire lives again says:
ruffians?
the umpire lives again says:
i have little ah bengs, gangsters, hooligians... everything!
Vince says:
maybe this is the lesson... that Sometimes u have to move on?
the umpire lives again says:
eh?
the umpire lives again says:
how would that be?
Vince says:
as in if u're feeling sad doing what u're doing and u've tried many , if not all things and ur heart is not at ease.. perhaps primary school teaching isnt ur calling for now..
the umpire lives again says:
it isn't =(
the umpire lives again says:
i'm just
the umpire lives again says:
i don't know how to- to explain what i feel inside
6 comments:
Rach it's only monday. Relax and breathe!
I understand what you mean about the handling of kids, i know i would rather teach creative writing than grammar, and i would rather teach hydrology than the water cycle. But i think one thing teaching shows us is the need for HUMILITY. You have to stoop down to their level, their ability, and cater to THEIR needs. It ceases to be about you and how you want to work and how you view the situation. it's aout THEM. Teaching is far from an attention seeking job as much as you stand up in front and talk. You are the vessel God has chosen to place in the school to benefit these lives of the kids. Give your best, look on the positive and maybe if you stop dwelling on the things that go wrong, everyday will be a new beginning and things will look alot brighter.
I spent my first week in misery for i felt that i was inadequate and i wasn't helping them. But it got better when i looked at it from a different perspective. That i'm here to SERVE them, not to RECEIVE. If you know what i mean. I know you have a giving nature yourself, if you can connect with the kids in thailand, getting used to the kids here shouldn't be a problem.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FAITH.
thanks for the wake up call. yeah i've forgotten that... feeling pretty bad now. how could i have neglected to remember that it's about THEM?
it's not about me.. at all.
unheard voice: You don't give in to them. Rather to CATER to their needs, and one of their needs is obviously structure and discipline.
rach: It's a matter of balancing professional and personal, it comes with practice, i'm still learning everyday. But start out strict and firm, or if you haven't enforce discipline starting today. It helps alot, for they know that you mean business and you refuse to accept anything less than their best. At the same time you yourself put in YOUR best too.
i'll leave you teachers to your teacher thingas. =)
i don't even know the point of this comment that i'm gonna post. just you know, i'm here. heh. =)
mayboo doesn't love me anymore.
erica, it's like... I don't know how to handle eight year olds. I started out thinking I could be the one who went against conventions, to give them the independence no one else has before... but it just keeps getting wrong!
parents are calling the school to give "feedback" [read: complain] about me. I think I come off as lax and sloppy.. there's a long story connected to this. sigh.
I keep reminding myself it's about them it's about them.. but I don't know what they need! They won't tell me; probably can't anyway. Too young to verbalise.
I'm just discouraged now.
okay it's more or less exactly one year since this post was written, and i can't believe i said mayboo doesn't love me when she so obviously does. so i HAD to come clarify.
Mayboo is my best friend and i love her dearly.
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