thinking aloud

Ayalguu says:
thoughts about mmm
stability
the line between introspection and self-obsession
the need for the first, but not the other
is being detached good?

p. says:
no
hmm
u're fluctuating again
it doesnt have to be either or

Ayalguu says:
i suppose
i'm trying, though, i'm trying to understand what it means

p. says:
intorspection and self obsession?
u need introspection
but if ur centre shifts away from God
then its selfobsession
so then u stop


...



Ayalguu says:
when to care, and when not to
is another big question

p. says:
hmm
u cant tell?

Ayalguu says:
no, pea. when i start to care about something it becomes almost obsessive
like, take this thing with x. i haven't been able to detach myself from it

p. says:
so learn not to..

Ayalguu says:
learn, yes. but how do i learn?
is it a matter of just blocking everything out (either or, again), or is there more?

p. says:
it shouldnt be either or
u dont need to detach
just need to manage
as u grow
u need to learn to not fluctuate like a sinus curve
when u catch urself doing it
bring it to God
and then let it be

no one can answer these qns for u
its got to be God
and him letting u know when to let go
and when he does
u have to obey

Ayalguu says:
hmm
what does it mean to manage?

p says:
learn not to allow ur feelings to overcome everything

Ayalguu says:
involving both head and heart? as in, not separating the two in this process?

p. says:
YES

Ayalguu says:
sigh
this bears thinking over


__________


So... what does managing (as opposed to detachment) mean? uncannily enough, the rejection of "either or"ness, again. integration. how do i integrate my head and heart? bring it to God, and then let it be seemed the key line. not holding all the questions (and myrid possible answers) in my hands, demanding control over the situation.

okay, will probably update this again soon enough.