fight to be faithful/to Him who is able to keep us from falling

rnht- school is like, wrinkly gooey caterpillars newly hatched and waving nasty forelegs at you disgusting eyeless snotballs says:
like i was saying, i was thinking today about the So, and the So Whats. so what if there's mr x in my life, so what if this or that.
and it suddenly occured to me (while listening to townend's 'There is a Hope'), that it's about faith. the beauty of faith, of a life lived like that. lived faithfully. that this is the only thing that stands, and
rnht- school is like, wrinkly gooey caterpillars newly hatched and waving nasty forelegs at you disgusting eyeless snotballs says:
is higher than the questions of love of questions of work of choice of youth adult middle aged life
rnht- school is like, wrinkly gooey caterpillars newly hatched and waving nasty forelegs at you disgusting eyeless snotballs says:
and today a close friend of mine reminded me about "fighting to be as faithful as He is to me".
and that's the way it is, isn't it. the fight. fighting isn't.. to stand there and feel down or insecure. fighting is to wield a weapon and give as good as it gets, to pummel the. the uncertainty, the unease, the unfaithfulness that takes our eyes away from Him
and pastor Quek talked about it, didn't he. to be faithful, to be humble, and to be watchful. be faithful to Him who has been faithful to us, humble, because we cannot be anything else when we remember His great mercy and salvation on the cross and how He will sustain us, if only we look to Him. He will sustain us, danny and then to be watchful, against the devil who aims to
rnht- school is like, wrinkly gooey caterpillars newly hatched and waving nasty forelegs at you disgusting eyeless snotballs says:
drag us down with all the doubts. but we have to fight against those doubts, take our eyes off ourselves and look to Him who is able to keep us from falling.

saturday, 26/09

i realised something today: i overthink. and it's an excess that doesn't just go to the point of unnecessity, but unhealthy. well it can, anyway, and often does. so this evening i was working on a concious stopping of this habit. see, if the hurt comes, it comes and when it comes is when to start to feel. to do so before, to preempt or predict the situation is to borrow the pain and it's the borrowing that makes it wrong. for as long as it is still on its way, it doesn't exist in anywhere but my mind and so to imagine the outcome into emotional reality is mere melodrama, it is unfair and immature and shallow, i don't want this anymore.

living in this citynation-

chelism says:
i mean
chelism says:
singapore is crazy
chelism says:
either you go a little crazy, or you die a little, if you stay all your life
chelism says:
esp for our generation
chelism says:
our parents grew up in kampongs and multilingual communities and climbed trees
chelism says:
skipped exams, things like that


__________


I don't want to go a little crazy, nor die a little.
I want to live in the pursuit of the beautiful.

i have suddenly realised just how very much there is to be thankful for- realised it today as i was walking down a road, that i am thankful. thankful to be in pumps and shorts and brown bagpack, even for green glasses and long hair coming down my shoulders. for the grand old trees i was walking under, and the freshness of the air just rained upon. also thankful to feel thankfulness, because it is so freeing. and that's probably the most significant thing. but yes, there is much to be thankful for.

my heart is too full, it spills out through the eyes.

sacrificing my heart on the altar brings tears, but it also brings joy.

i will stay in perfect peace.

Isaiah 26:3 (King James Version)
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

On Romans 8

1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

A walking after the Spirit.. and not the flesh. A thread that runs through the next few verses.

2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Spirit law vs. the Law. By the latter I am condemned, but with the former I live.

6For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Why?

7Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
8So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

~

13For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

Elizabeth Elliot on 8:13-

There is no getting around the etymology of the word mortify. It comes
from the Latin for death... A modern translation makes it even more
direct. "But if by the Spirit you put to death all the base pursuits of
the body, then you will live." There is a list in Colossians 3:5: fornication,
indecency, lust, foul cravings, and the ruthless greed which is nothingl ess
than idolatry. These are the products of human desire, if human desire
is given free rein. The Christian has handed the reins over to his Master. His
human desires are brought into line. The desires still exist, are still strong,
natural, and human, but they are subjugated to the higher power of the Spirit.
They are purified and corrected as we live day by day in faith and obedience.

~

On hope-

24For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
25But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

Hope not for my secret desires, which He already knows, but the final, wondrous day, where everything is made perfect, and there shall be no more secrets, or mortifications, for on that day, we will be made perfect, we shall be like Him.

I love verse 26, and then also 27-28: Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
27And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I had all but forgotten that Someone prays for me, until I was reading Elliot this morning:

... A little quiet reflection will remind me that yes to God always leads in the end to joy. We can absolutely bank on that.

Another great comfort to me during the long uncertainity was the
knowledge that I was being prayed for, not only by friends and family, but-
wonder of wonders- by Christ Himself, who always lives to intercede for us, and
by the Holy Spirit, who "... comes to the aid of our weakness. We do not even
know how we ought to pray, but through our inarticulate groans the Spirit
himself is pleading for us, and God who searches our inmost being knows what the
Spirit means, because He pleads for God's people in God's own way."

What joy! Verse34 also says that Christ makes intercession for us. I am :)))encouraged, and uplifted by the thought.

Finally:

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.