am i seeing a little better?

e says:
i want to travel too ):

chel says:
sigh
to be away
to be amongst beauty
and to rejoice in His handiwork

e says:
SIGH.

chel says:
you and i
our hearts are somewhere else

e says:
they are. i've been feeling incredibly disatisfied with life. which should not be so. we are living in a land flowing with milk and honey in Christ. we should be.

i spent the afternoon walking aimlessly in vivo. WHY.
i don't know. i didn't want to go home.
but i also didn't know where else to go

my days are becoming meaningless.
its like..mon, tues school. weds, thurs sometimes at s, fri school. saturday play piano for YAF, attend YAF. sunday church. cycle repeats.
its been like that since jan.
i'm sick of it.

chel says:
esp since after exchange huh

e says:
sigh.
where is your heart tonight

chel says:
new zealand
definitely
yours?

e says:
floating somewhere. doesn't know where.
finding. a home.

i keep waking up, these days, in the middle of the night, with this unexplainable heavy sadness
on the verge of crying. and i don't know why
i was talking to m, she said she has it too.

chel says:
AHHH TELL ME ABOUT IT
and and and . i know it's been a hard time for g too
and uh, p also
that's five of us!

e says:
this cannot be coincidental heartache hormones

chel says:
no i don't think so
really i don't think so
i've been suspecting this
ever since you and i have been sharing on msn
and you told me abt g + i follow her blog
and i talk with p too
and now m
5 of us!

no but the five of us. tearing and falling
i've probably cried more this past month, almost everyday, than the rest of my life put together
or really close

e says:
same. and i've been having fluctuating hormones like no one's business.
i've a pimple on MY ELBOW. AND MY SCALP.
evidence my friend.

chel says:
okay that's really-
significant
but srsly
why is this happening to us??
i mean
i know we girls get moody at times
but
to such a degree
and so prolonged

e says:
i know. i wonder if we're reinforcing it, in someway by sharing.

chel says:
no
i don't think so
no way
because i'm reacting over the events happening in my life
related around me
there's definitely a cause for mine
and p too; she's having certain events in her life i know it's not unfounded
and you and g over the wretchedness of life at least, if not more

i wonder
if God is trying to expand our hearts
pushing and stretching it
to take in the reality of life
and the state of the world (not that we even understand half as wretched it is)

e says:
if He is, i wish he'll sedate me first.
):
i think you're right. we are the idealistic young girls. on the verge of entering the working world.
its a breaking in period.
in all sense of the word

you know, during QT, recently, i noticed that my words have become more...i don't know weary and questioning.
it used to be...thank You for this that and the other. now it's Why this that and the other
peppered with i don't knows.

chel says:
YOU KNOW
you know
i think
i just know, that for you, you'll look back and see this as a period of really getting to know Him
we don't know what we don't question
do you see??
we don't know what we don't question
and we have to work through this period
walk through it
take step after step through the valley
tired and head drooping
i see it babe, for you.
and for you i am glad

e says:
i hope. i really hope.
and i'm tired. already.
goodnight you. mucho grande amour.

chel says:
love you too, muchly
we'll get through this okay
that's what our spinster sisterhood is for
seriously
we'll talk of this again
chan raak khun maak