i'll find my sanity tripping along after me

Some five, six weeks ago I was down and burdened, so pressured from all I was telling myself I had to do that my body reacted and it all came out in a sore on my lower lip. And the story is always repeated, isn't it. So here I am again, with many thoughts to think many things to do. A follwer of marthaism, maybe.

There are too many things getting to me my list-of-things-to-do my events to be ticked off my calender- even my bus rides are no longer aimless, unharried spaces of listening to myself as I watch the screen of images roll by; trees buildings and people. These days my mind is filled with fantasies, adventures, intense plots featuring the latest person in my life, with villians and friends thrown in for good measure and I have to complete the story before I reach the front door, and reclaim [somewhat] societal normalcy.

I'll be taking a break off thisaddressistemporary.blogspot.com for close to a month; I guess I really ought to be fighting for my grades now to make the best out of what looks to be a disgusting job. There are certain things I hate about the system and how it disadvantages arts students, usp students, usp arts students. Notice how I fall into all three. Three times the reason to feel [justifiably] frustrated. Anyhow, the second reason would be that I am still disgruntled over a lockedup blog. Soon, soon I will unlock it.
Each time I use the word disgruntled I think of a pig's snout.



I want to say- The brooding, morose moods used to be channeled out in books, in thoughtful films and there'd be a purpose to my heavy heart, but that hasn't happened for a long time now and tonight, I am left staring out of a photograph in my favourite dress, standing on uneven concrete floor, my hands full of non-newtonian liquids warm and sticky, sullen and spilling out, everything in shades of black and white.