the paragraphing isn't working and i don't know how to change it

I have decided I will stop my mental dissent against myself for not having the words to write anymore. Because that isn't true. the words are always there marching on with a gaited rhythm so that they are organized and the pictures can come in then. Everyday things can be used, and are sometimes the best because the mundane isn't, it's interesting and until I find that point again it's no use waiting for- godot. Once I called her my muse, then it was Rachel's Moods but now I think it's simply a matter of opening myself to let the words flow. through.

I became the owner of two dresses yesterday, and three bracelets. The bracelets were selling at such an incredibly low price I almost didn't want to buy them, then arranged my perspectives so that I was a bohemian traveller walking along a colourful market in in in thailand mixed with cambodia and if I could buy twenty pretty bracelets as an intrepid bohemian traveller why couldn't I as a hogwarts student on exchange to nus. snobbish, that.

I haven't written about the music that sounds from the speakers when I write for a long time now, and I wonder at that. There's music playing even now and it's one I like, worlds apart by jars of clay but it doesn't reach out to connect with my words and I'm not urged to intersperse it with my surroundings.

Or maybe it's because I'm not in hall anymore with whirling fans and my gay red carpet to envelope me.

ben asked me this morning if I wanted to move into temaske [temsake? i don't know how to spell that word] in december because a room has been reserved for me already. Yesterday I told al that I like staying at home. And I do, I like my big breakfasts prepared by mommy and saying bye i love you to her as I leave the door with daddy who sends me partway. This past week I went home almost everyday with al and it means a lot to me, this time to spend with her and just be two of us laughing and talking because we haven't done this for a long time now, not since junior college I think when we were in our uniforms after yf or studying together on sundays. But I feel obliged to ben, who went to a whole lot of trouble and stepped on a lot of toes and pulled a lot of strings. And if I go into hall I'd like to tryout for handball and netball, and maybe even dance productions, despite my aversion to the stage lights. I haven't done anything stagey since forbidden love, and that one I did because it was home ground.

I'll think about it later, because my day is starting at one.