I'm afraid I've become ordinary, no more whimsical nor even quaint. It seems all I can lay claim to are a few ordinary quirks, the kinds that, over the years, develop into characteristics of auntiedom. and young children will laugh at me.
I've lost the patience to sit down and dream for hours on end, of adventures and the invariable prince charming who would take my breath away and not only my breath but scoop the whole of me up up and away to neverneverland. And maybe patience isn't the word, maybe it's. ability. With that comes a sadness because then I'm possibly now even more disabled, like I lost a limb of mine.
Possibly. Possibilities. Maybe it was that infinite realm that kept me in peter pan's league, the thought that anything and everything was possible. But now with time I am more conditioned more quick to remember that possibilities are never anything and everything; they come with conditions. That this-and-this can only happen taking into consideration that that-and-that must be present too. I suppose that-and-that would be my nightmare tweedledeeandtweedledum of circumstances. That I could never be a well-known writer because.... I don't have enough ideas, because I don't have the eye for insight like catherine lim has.
I suppose my scope for imagination [as anne of green gables would put it] was gradually cut away by a mixture of reality and stupidity. Of asinine decisions I've made so that I've been irrevocably changed [our choices shape who we become no?] and maybe the fence from from from.
I can't even remember titles now.
What kathy did
Kathy did it
Is her name even kathy?
I need someone to help me remember. I can't tell a story if I don't have the words.
I've lost the first round.
4 comments:
i know exactly what you're saying. sometimes i feel like it's a struggly against tendency, against nature, and against doing what's right (many many times) just so as to remain as yourself, as you'd wanna be.
and constantly lose faith in the writer in me. all the time, all the time. (:
but i'm counting on the power of the dream.
struggly?!
you know i was sayin struggle.
HAHA
"and I constantly lose faith"
aiyoh. i must be tired.
This post sounds vaguely familiar and i remember you telling me that dreaming takes practice.
I hope you feel better soon about phonetics and the whole world that cannot do without you (although seaweed colonies definitely could)
xayghi - say gheeee *flash*
p.s you know why the vowel "i:" is chosen right for photos? hehe.
haha thanks dears. =)
yeah erica i remember saying that too.
but i didn't know seaweed have colonies!
and yes i do know why /i:/ is the phonetic transcription of the chosen "e" for photos showoffff
sejwrl: cj [as in cjc] whirls]
whee
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