last wednesday

I'm sitting in el class [the better one, at least] and without warning my mind suddenly transmits a different vision- and just as abruptly back to the present again. I was a little dazed- as dazed as one can be while feeling sleepy and not/concentrating at the same time. Then for some reason the place my memory plonked me into for the timebreath of a second became important, and I rewound the reel. to realise that my brain had brought me back to a surroundings of whitewashed houses with the afternoon sun upon their walls. I know the memory. I was in the philippines, and we had just come down from the mountains. We had crossed a dammed river to get to those houses [there was a dam on the river- nothing else], so that our sandals were soaked and I was exhilarated at the mini adventure we'd just gone through.

These days then I think back on the philippines it seems my memories are somewhat sepia singed, a sense of an exotic adventure. Walking along slums along streets hitching rides bouncing on the jeepneys unique to that land. Has my reality been lost.

Another note- more to keep myself awake than anything. Last night when a dear friend said "thanks for missing me" I knew exactly what he meants. You're precious to me and I to you, but it takes a certain effort to step out and say it. for me anyway. Most times I'd rather send mental emails to someone I miss and want to be with, useless because mental telepathy works only when God does it. Still, I'd rather do that because I find it hard to make myself vulnerable.