The art of stupidity- or, how to try blinding the self.

It’s fairly simple, really. Simply get a contact lens solution that requires neutralization. Meaning to say, it has to be an acidic solution of some sort. Then, neglect to add the tablet that will neutralize it. Leave overnight. The next morning, when self is bleary and non-functional, insert contact lens- unneutralised acidic solution and all- into eye.

Then stumble back in pain as the eye loses control and rolls upward.

How’s that for a start to the day. I’ve had happier suprises. Okay let’s see [pun unintended] what happened next.

Taking it out was painful and difficult. The first time I tried, my fingers only met the whites of my eye because the iris- and lens- was somewhere at the back of my socket. I then grabbed my bottle of saline and started pouring it in but there was no effect- my eye still continued to roll upward and all the while the pain felt like someone had taken a wire gauze- the kind found in kitchen sinks- and was rubbing my eye. There was a silent screaming in my head and everything seemed red. In desperation I made my way to the mirror, and as I gasped into it my eye somehow came back into focus upon which I immediately removed the lens.

And the story doesn’t end here.
I went to school, but by eleven my eye was losing control and rolling upwards again every five mintues or so. Now the pain felt like someone was using a blunt toothpick to stab my eye and the area around it was reacting I felt like all my nerves and veins there were throbbing. I left at eleven thirty to see the doctor at nus, a lovely old lady about seventy I think.

She did an eye check, which included sticking a paper thing into my eyeball and that stung a bit. The diagnosis is relieving. There is no damage to cornea as of right now, and the reason why my eye kept going into mini seizures was from the conjuctivital reaction. I’m to see her again today [all this drama happened yesterday], which I will after conducting remedial for my boys. haha sorry brian I know I said that even if I coughed up blood I’d go for class, but I didn’t expect to pour acidic stuff into my eyeball you see.

Conjuctivital is five syllabus.

So right now there’s an eye patch over the injured organ, and my students have been alternately expressing concern and amazement over it. The funniest one was this adorable kid who actually backed away from me, and behind his taller friend. Former students of the Gothic genre, I bring to your mind the attraction-repulsion complexion. He couldn’t stop staring at my white friend stuck to my face.

Thus far are the adventures of rachel the madam.