the curvy little sideway-dropped-down squiggle you call the two decided to well. move up the ranks and climb atop the one. and with the laws of mathematics nine flips back like the scoreboard chart during a handball match in temasek poly and lo [and below], the zero. well if you add two and zero you get two although I think adding two and zero don't necessarily have to make two are you so mean as to neglect the zero? Surely not. and since I believe in nicety, we shall have two and zero making two zero, not zero zero per say, non, but side by side in a democratic and communist arrangement. there. I am twenty. I am glad to be twenty. The teenage life was getting to be somewhat a bore. and. sad memories painful memories can be left behind. Maybe I am not so invulnerable after all.

self-reflection retrospection inward upward outward downward looking time. Twenty years does call for it think you. well well I have on hand what They said and I suppose outsiders' views are sometimes more accurate [sometimes sometimes] in any case they were acknowledged by me. and I was suprised.
But I won't dissect my Self to pieces here the internet is a fully public sphere and I am not unaware of that and also my part of the bargain to IT. information technology gives me space, and I give it a right, that my words will not be limited or privilleged to any one class. With that I flourish my right of choice in your face as we did half legs wet standing in a swimming pool and the looking warm lights communicating with the street lamps on the stone pavement mmm cozy cozy stony pavement some. time back maybe two years ago. Don't tell me it's three years time couldn't have passed so fast- anyway` to recapulate Not to examine myself in public. That would be crude. I would not like to be crude.

I think my stamina for writing and letting the mind freewheel has fallen the same extent alcohol has on my running falls falls drops
urked I am that I can't do an e.e. cummings because technology [either my knowledge or biocentricity which we have decided is anthocentrism if only we were more awake this morning we could have stunned the professor with our brilliance I was quite pointed in the evening and I'm losing my vocabulary]
ugh wot is the matter the words are not flowly flowing the way they should be they are disjointed and broken I feel like farce. The force of habit remembers the structure but the mastery the magic in my hands my eyes it's missing and I hope it's only through the lack of calling forth the whymsy that this is happening. After all, it's been nearly a month since I wrote in my mode.

and since I can't write properly [though I have been here for a good length of time] I will end. And conclude with something completely unconnected. Why not. Tonight is a disconnected night where I see nothing at all.

the seeing nothinglessness of it all is frustrating but con- con- [what is the word for at the same time no not simountaneously] con- OH CONVULSIVELY (whatever) I'm in more or less physical convulsions anyway appalled at- at- this at the air in my head where is my brain igiveup

Here's my random sentence, the only thing tonight that worked the way it should have.
if I am EVER a bore or get too full of myself PLEASE I beg you for the love of our friendship let me know.