24 hours since

I can't take it anymore I can't I can't. please dear God let me go back Home please please. Please I Need to go back I can't function I couldn't function today I wore black because there was no other colour to wear. She asked me on msn if I was okay oh if a mere aquaintance notices it

please let me go back Home please. oh please. Father please let me go back. I've been taking it for granted that I'd go back
please let me go back.
please.
please.

When I'm left alone there's a pressing weight and that's all I'm aware of. When I'm with people who know what's going on I'm myself- depressed and quiet. because talking requires more energy than I can take to give. When I'm with people who have no idea what's going on it depends.

I'm alone now. I feel like a fool typing all this out it's like a repeat of december last year but what else can I do than to try and let it out? It's better than staring blankly at the screen isn't it. It's better than
looking again and again at tiger airways because I can't go.

I might be able to, just might, but


I can't take it I need to know that I
can go