Weekly Report

It’s a crazy life, being a teacher! This past week has been an entirely new experience for me, and I’ve said and thought things I wouldn’t have thought I would. The overwhelming impression of this week is Exhaustion. Traveling, lack of sleep, the amount of energy kids drain… little vampires, that’s what they all are.

Sunday, 2300hrs [as far as I can remember]
I was yammering away with Hannah at home, when my phone suddenly rings.
“Hello Rachel? mdm rohani here. I know it’s last minute, but can you take over from tomorrow onwards? Just go to the general office tomorrow and tell them you’re taking over me for three months.”
okayy. Panic panic.

I couldn’t sleep that night, and the first day was just so bad. Dumped into a classroom with 28 primary two children [one absentee you see] staring at me. I was supposed to teach them english, math, health education, p.e, arts and craft and social studies. Basically everything except chinese and music. Had no training on how to teach seven year olds effectively, no experience to back me up. I was just grateful I was taller than they were. Didn’t know the pace of work, the rules of the school, didn’t know anything. I didn’t even have the textbook! [It’s still missing.]

Imagine you’re a seven year old and suddenly this new teacher bends over you on her first day and goes, “hi. Can I borrow your english textbook?”

I have no idea what the poor thing thought. But it was pretty embarrassing for me.

I think the worst thing on the first day was the disappointment. Teaching primary twos is basically babysitting. Don’t do this, don’t do that. KEEP QUIET! Okay class, remember to write the day and the date on the top of the page, okay? KEEP QUIET!
At that age, their fears and worries are just so unwarranted. Granted, it causes them an amazing amount of anxiety and stress [I can personally attest to that] but the thing is, it really doesn’t matter. Any one can soothe it with assurances. Where’s the depth in all that? I guess I wanted more mature students, who would fully appreciate my passion and enthusiasm for Them. Babysitting, any one could do.
So the first day was really bad for me. I just sat on my swrivel chair after the last lesson, brooding. Looking at the three months ahead and wondering how much of their childishness I could take. See, the worst thing was, they Are supposed to be childish. Listen to this:

Yong Zhi: Teacher teacher, he blow my face!
Me: Blow back! [okay I didn’t say that. Was so tempted to though. I actually asked the other kid why he did that.]
Boon Hong: He punch me!
Me: [puts on a horrified face] Why did you punch him?
Yong Zhi: He block me!
Me: Why did you “block” him?
Boon Hong: He just now cut queue!

You know what the best thing was? They were simply walking along the corridor!
When I related this incident to my mom [or ranted, rather], she laughed and said that at that age, they were simply protecting what they perceived as their rights. Apparently when lining up, closer you are to the teacher, the more powerful you are. And yeah, I think the kids do think that way. Guess children haven’t changed very much since my mom’s time. I wonder how mummy did it. Daddy once told me that when she was still in the teaching profession, she was highly sought after. Hmmm.

So yeah. There I was, disillusioned and seriously wondering if I should look around for another school. Thank God for erica who messaged and asked if I was okay. And hongxuan too. Poor brandon who called shortly after school ended bore the brunt of my frustration. I was literally yelling on the phone [I was out of school by then]. Everything was so limited by their youth. For p.e, I had no idea what to do. They were so young! So we just played races. Some of the kids didn’t want to play. I don’t blame them. Such boring games! Sigh. And this is coming from me who wants to be a p.e teacher. So if I say I was upset at the limitations, I was upset at the limitations. And the worst thing? I’m not a nitpicking teacher. I don’t care if your parents don’t sign your spelling books; I’ve always thought that was freaking dumb, the whole admin thing. Such a waste of time and energy. Learning man, learning. Don’t do your work, your loss. Do your work, I’ll work harder than you do. I mean need. Spend time with those who have the right attitude. Not waste hour after hour telling kids to shut up! Yet, that's exactly what they need. This period is their habit forming years. [I've since kind of figured I was a bad student who didn't listen. heh.]
So I spent quite some time penning a letter, venting everything onto that poor piece of paper. sigh. But everyone was really encouraging and told me the first day was always the hardest. well. They were right. Erica reminded me of the need to “start each day ANEW”. So I prayed and did that.

Tuesday was better. I think it helped that I had a primary four art class to take. They were more fun, and I could talk more ‘constructive rubbish’ with them. haha. It was nice to see how they put effort into a topic that was initially boring. [They were supposed to draw trees.] Oh. My own kids? I tried some real teaching, as in, english and math. But on hindsight, I’m a terrible primary two teacher. I use words they don’t understand, and go too fast. For example:

Me: Okay children, see today we’re going to learn the difference between “tight”, “tightER” and “tightEST”. Okay? Okay. So. TightER is a comparative word. Do you know what comparative means? [blank faces] Err no? Okay it’s relative. You know relative? [slight pause as I try desperately to think of a way to explain what the “er” in tighter really means]
-brightly- okay never mind. You know the “est” in tightest? Well it’s an… ultimate word! Nothing can be bigger than it! Understand? [blank faces]

Soo. Yeah. My first attempt at teaching the meaning of “er” and “est”.

I also got my hands on the scheme of work that day. And realized I was going waaay too fast. It also worried me that I didn’t know the children well enough to know who honestly understood what I was saying, and who were just good at looking like they knew. Besides, I’ll still be taking them for their CA1 [remember ca1??? oh my gosh.] and I really don’t want the school or any parents to be upset at me. Even more than that, I want all students to catch my ball, I really do. I’d hate to think of any child confused and not daring to ask a big [in their perspective] adult for help. But I have no training in teaching methods! I ask other teachers and they point me to the teacher’s guide. I read that and I still don’t understand. But I don’t want to impose on them… half of them are falling sick already. So I try my own methods and pray desperately. Especially in math. I’m so bad at it! Yes it’s just addition in hundreds- but the thing is, I never understood math even then. It was so abstract for me. I guess the only thing I’ve got in math is patience, because looking at them, I remember how hard it was for me and how no one else seemed to understand. But I don’t know how to teach. That’s hard for me too. It also doesn’t help that I have some bright students in my class who get very restless. I was like that in english. In all my primary school years, every CA or SA was a band one. [except once I think, when I got a measly 83 out of a hundred.] I spent my time reading under a table and the teachers left me alone. Here, they start playing and then I have to give them attention too. But what about my weaker kids? So it’s still something I’m trying to iron out.

Wednesday was contact time. BORING. Relief teachers aren’t usually supposed to sit in, but since I’m taking over for 3 months, they thought I should. I have to think of a way out of that. You see, they talk about committees, AR, TR etc. I have no idea what all that means and I’m not staying that long to join any. So yeah. You know. I used to wonder what teachers do in contact time; I guess I know now. I also remember looking at teachers in awe- they were so mysterious and unpredictable. In retrospective, I think they’d forgotten a child’s world, and could only give adult responses to what a child had to say. And in a way, I’m one foot in that Adult World. Well.

Thursday turned out to be pretty fun. I was informed that I needed to take the kids’ height and weight, and was wondering how on earth I could control 26 [three absentees] jumpy restless kids. Short of tying them up and strapped to the walls, I couldn’t think of anything. And if they were bored doing normal p.e where they get to run around, what would they do in a class that needed me to take my eyes off them while I take each individual kid’s height and weight?? I was concerned. Guess what happened in the end.

Me: Okay class, listen up. [pause] LISTEN UP! [pause] OKAY. TODAY, We are going to do something Different for p.e [excited babble as they guess]. No, we are not going to do jumping games. No, we are not going to do anything physical [they don’t know what physical means]. We are going to take your height and weight.

Class: YAYYY!

I was pleasantly surprised. So I got them to behave on the threat that I wouldn’t tell them their height and weight if they misbehaved. [well I didn’t have the time to in the end but they forgot too so all’s well ends well. haha.] I found out that taking height and weight’s fun. Like how the children struggle with their velcro straps, haha. Do you remember having velcro straps??
Taking their height and weight really brings back memories… They were so unabashed about staring earnestly at the weighing scale. haha. And when taking their heights, they just looked so serious. I was touched, actually. There were something just so sweet and poignant about it all.

[On a side note, I took my own weight when I went to put the weighing scales back. There were a few machines… You can choose between 47 to 51kg. [The last number was from a very extremely super duper spoilt weighing scale.]

It’s fun marking books too. For english anyway. We’re doing “Wishes and Dreams” now, and there was this question in their workbook which asked them what their “best wish” was. Listen to the kids:

“I wish I can eat Laksa because I like Laksa very much.”
“I wish to be a teacher. Actually my daddy wants me to be a teacher but my mommy wants me to be a doctor so I don’t know.”
“I wish play soccer because I love soccer! I want to play for Singapore”
“I wish to be a farmer and grow my own food.”

Alright. So if all goes according to plan, I’ll be able to count a laksa eater, a national soccer player, and a farmer among my protégées. Oh, and a confused teacher. haha. I love writing comments on what they write… it’s just that I wish I didn’t have to write ‘baby language’. I’d like to write more, to students who’d understand what “brilliant!” means. I mean, I know the kids appreciate my effervescent praise, but I’d rather give it to students with low self esteem, like normal academic students, or something. Anyone can write “well done” to seven year olds, but how many will bother doing that with students from a so-called slow stream? I’ve seen so many teachers who don’t care. I wanted [and still want] to be the one that’s different. I feel constrained here. Still, I know God has His plan for me and I must trust Him.

Friday was the best. Not least because I’d been surviving on roughly 4 hours of sleep a night [I’d been traveling to church very frequently this week, which meant that I’d reach home late but still had to wake up by 530 am], and that Friday meant the last, final day. (: But it was also causing me a significant amount of apprehension. I was supposed to teach a primary 6 em3 class art and craft! Mr Nair [the form teacher] had informed me of so and so who was a mischief maker, and so and so was a repeat student yadda yadda yadda. Can you imagine? I had been surviving on bluffology all week. But what if these students saw through? And had attitude problems? I’d still have to face them for three months, no matter what the first impression was! k I’ll leave you to put myself in your shoes.


But it turned out to be great! :D I think mr nair’s presence during the first period really helped. [he was kind enough to suggest it.] By that time, I’d gained their interest. Which was the most crucial thing. Yayy! It was really God’s blessings. I could feel His presence as I talked to them about Chinese New Year. Soon, I hope to talk with them. (:

I know many of you have been asking how my week was… so here it is. In all the good and bad, with God seeing me through all the way.

Three months more… who knows what will happen?