The Blob Theory

Alright. This is me blogging. Again. The bug is big this weekend.

Anyway.
I once told vincent that I have a Blob Theory. That is, that our week isn’t made up of seven separate days, but two blobs. The weekdays are one blob, and the weekends a smaller one. Within these two blobs the days are mashed up; for me at least. I can’t tell a Thursday from a Tuesday. Really.
It’s getting quite bad now because I can’t make a smooth transition between the two blobs. During Blob One I’m quite happy. My life follows a routine of school- study- sleep. That’s it. I have no life, I don’t need to think. Schoolmates are just… fellow robots.

It’s Blob Two that gets me agitated.

See during the weekends life begins and I’m caught off guard each time. I don’t know how to behave. Do you understand? Studying doesn’t seem so important and so without that goal, I’m like… what to do? Yet I can’t bring myself to study.
It’s also during Blob Two that I see people.

Oh, I have nothing against people. It’s just that I’ve forgotten how to behave around them.

It’s quite true, what sab said. To run through the date I/we/each of us had with someone in our minds a million times wondering:

“Was what I said aright? Did I impress? Was it the best that I could have been? Was my front appealing?”

I don’t want that. I don’t want to go out with any guy who makes me think that way. Not because it’s his fault, the darling, but because I don’t want to well, have to do anything more than what I would have otherwise just to… stand out.

Did you know that there’s Someone who’s even more interested in your future spouse than you are? Amazing right? Guess His name.

God.

That’s right. And that’s what comforts me most. That I don’t have to search to hard thinking: is he the one? Because if he is, then no matter what I do, God’ll bring us together. So. I’ll just be me. and I can because everything’s in God’s hands.
And if I spend time and energy being the perfect girlfriend now… that’ll mean less time preparing myself to be the perfect spouse. Which one do I want to be? The perfect girlfriend or the perfect spouse? The two require different skills.

And oh guess what. The whole rachel-is-intimidating thing isn’t confined to school. Well not that guys in church are intimidated by me but they definitely don’t put me into the sweet-girl category. Ohwell. Not like I am anyway. I'm too outspoken. Which has.. uhh. Let's just say my life isn't dull. heh.

Well. Tomorrow's monday.

Back to the Blob.