Hello all you wonderful people who post comments on my blog!
haha. Don't know why I did that. But yeah, I enjoy reading your little notes to me. First though. Who's Goh? And rawr?
Had a wonderful day today... played ultimate for 4 hours. Good ultimate. As in, I learnt so much stuff. (:
Am I babbling? ahwell. I want to share something with you guys and I don't really know how to bring it up. [I think I'm nervous.] I don't know why.
This blog is to everyone who has ever asked me why I've never been attached.
Hey, all of you. What do you think about bgr? *pause*
Statement: Since I don't look too bad and I'm [quite] nice, this makes me good girlfriend material.
Does it?
I wonder. If God created me different. Created me blind in one eye, given me a cleft lip... would any of you bother to go beyond the physical side of me to see what's inside?
Ah.
Don't be so quick to nod. Think about the people you've met. The girl with the squint. The short, pale boy who is. balding.
So what's bgr about? The guy/girl who looks good? The one who has charm? What is it?
Enough questions. Want to share a story I read recently. But first.
ANNOUNCEMENT
Should any copyright laws be infringed by the story below, the write craves the forbearance of all parties concerned.
Did I do it right? Grin. Anyway.
"It was finally here- Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small picturesque church was crowded with friends and family. Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a stringed quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned towards the altar.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregaiton, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.
Anna felt her lip beginning to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.
"I'm ...I'm sorry Anna," he said, staring at the floor.
" Who are these girls, David, What is going on?" she gasped.
"They're girls from my past," he answered sadly. "Ana, they don't mean anything to me now... but I've given part of my heart to each of them."
"I thought your heart was mine," she said.
"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Evertying that's left is yours." "
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I hope this story touched you.
So. What's my point? That dating today is a far cry from what it should be. I'm a teen as much as you guys are. And this is what dating is like for us.
Senario:
In school. My eyes automatically scan the lecture theatre for the cuteyoust guy/girl.
Zoom. Target selected. Find out his/her friends, get to know that person, get his/her number.
Start smsing.
Start chatting.
Start going out one-on-one.
Soon, ask that question.
Be each other's speical someone for a looooooooooooooooong [or short] time.
Then, break up.
Chances are, whether we're the one asking or being asked, we've all been in this before. I mean, so? What's the purpose of dating and breaking up and getting attached again?
I quote the next part from Mr Yeo.
The motive:
"Oh I like him, he likes me"
Well I like my dog and she likes me too, should we get attached?
One problem in solo dating is that in trying to impress each other, we get preoccupied with looks and tend to hide our true selves behind false masks. WHY???????
I mean, why get attached at 15 [or even earlier for some of you guys] if the relationship can't last till yr married? Can you guys be attached for 10 years??
Okayokay. Maybe you think this way. "I got into my first relationship when I was 15. We never got involved physically, and when we broke up two years later, it was amicable. So what harm was done?"
But maintaining a relationship takes a lot of time and energy. How many hours are spend talking, writing, thinking and worrying about the relationship?
Dating may help you practice being a good girlfriend/ boyfriend, but what are these skills really worth? Not much. When we're adults, we'll be more mature and what we did or "learnt" when we were 15 won't help. A preoccupation with being the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend now can hinder us from being the future husband or wife that we will one day be.
Think with the head, not with the heart. Emotions are easily manipulated.
I think I'll stop here. Never done this before, so I'm quite unsure. I mean, this is what I've always wanted to say when you people ask me why I don't play the dating game.
Hey, you asked.
The reaction is yours.
4 comments:
hey...btw, this is glen. haha!!anyway, in reply to your blog post, dating is not a 'game'. Yes, pple nowadays would date for the dun of it and b the time they're like 15, they have like 20 relationships b4. I think this is absurb. i agreed with you on the fact that no one can make sure that you'll get married to the person you're dating with but then if you don't follow your heart, you won't know. Also, who says relationships don't last like for 10 years or more?it does i tell you. I've seen many pple who successfully done it. Lastly, keep this in mind, it's not 'think with your head, not your heart' rather, 'think with your heart and feel with your heart'. That way then it's the best of two worlds.
Hey, haha, you know, i also think that well, BGR shld only happen when you're mature enough.. but i guess, maturity comes to everyone at different times. I know of a few couples who are happily married with kids, who liked each other right from like secondary sch.. And they have no prev gfs or bfs.
I guess my stand is, nothing wrong with loving a person, cos suppressing love is wrong. But i guess, there's not always the need to act on that love.. cos it might just be puppy love. And i guess, there needs to be physical attraction between both parties. Not that it is everything, its not. But lets be realistic, we need to be attracted to our other half-s. The assurance comes in that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I dun exactly agree with thinking with your head and not your heart. In the first place, i tink that with anything, we shldn't always look at it so practically and rationally. Not that practicality and rationality is not important, it is, but sometimes, being too or ALL practical and rational gives NO space for love(not just BGR) and compassion for others.
I figured that, i may love a girl now, but i wldn't date her now, and 'stead' her now, cos i know i'm not mature yet. But no harm in loving her, cos if she's the one for me, she will still be the one for me, no matter how long it takes. And when the right time comes to go 'steady' with her, I will naturally know. Of cos, needing lots of help from my Big Boss up there too, like showing me the right girl and stuff.
I want my first gf to be my only gf, and my only wife. =)
my "two pennies worth". haha
heeey.
i like this entry. it's very fitting. =P
hey girl. i agree with those comments up there.. it's not always a think with the head thing. it's true that getting attached as early as 15, or even 16/17 for that matter is too early. because at those ages, pple still dont really know how to be a good judge of character and you basically dont really know what you are getting yourself into. commitments and all.. you wouldnt understand. r/ships become more like a 'play-thing'. but regarding love, compassion, passion all these stuff, it's all about the heart isnt it? if you keep thinking it's the head, you would go like, "he's a nice man. he can support me. we are compatible, his parents like me. blah blah blah." but love is more than just knowing all these stuff. it's feeling something extra special for that person which comes from the heart right? we need both heart and mind. even God says to love Him with all our hearts, all our minds and all our strength. so yeah. that is the way we should love... for that is the way He loves us too. it all goes hand-in-hand.
my contribution. heh.
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