am sitting on little sofachair in room typing on little laptop (as opposed to alfredo), with chairlift's bruises playing in the background on groovesharks, a streaming (?) thing ky introduced me to; i foresee it being somewhat of a regular companion on the rare days i have the luxury to laze with feet on yummy rug, like today. the song reminds me of the days with a, and how we got each other through uni. i miss him, and wonder if he'll remember the promise of fleaing together, i didn't get a reply to my last text. although that could really be my phone's fault; as g said, "my phone is the pits".
but everyone's on super advanced phones these days; i'm happy with my old school nokia so ancient some of my students mistake it for topsecret stateoftheart uberexclusive technology. they are so cute.

screaming uno spin, chocolate and drinks treat by winner and loser. being told one day i look sixteen, and asked if i'm married the next. am i eurasian, no. i look japanese with my brown faux leather jacket, and ugly in my brother's sports polo. running down the circular stairs towards the cafe because there's a last-mintue meeting and we can't go out for lunch anymore. why cannot throw things,- because they will get lost, i reply. i think he has won some of my heart but he wanders around and forgets i exist even if i walk past, not until i am in my proper place at the proper time, things work that way in his world and he asks me questions again. gobbling a starbucks chocolate muffin into my mouth because it is his class next and i will need all the chocolate i can get, the drama class, miss j calls them.

maybe monday, we will go play more games, before my second goodbye. there is a third to come. for someone who hates goodbyes, i certainly have a number of them to perform. thoreau said that friends form the langditudes and longditudes of the world; and i don't know why i took so long to echo, i believe so much in it. like, hi, your continent will never be the same again.

my alma mater organised a film screening; there are films i want to watch, but no one who'll still be around seems awake enough.

this post will only be about work

-because i need boundaries.

it's amazing how i can occasionally (on all of two counts) arrive home feeling something like open-eyed conscious (as opposed to the usual walking around with eyes asleep) and telling myself that yes, today i will settle my personal life, but within literally half an hour my body is prodding me for the bed. it's half an hour now.

but i haven't made it this far in many days, so i may as well push myself for another paragraph or two more; otherwise i'll continue feeling stuck with words up to the eusophogus (clearly my spelling skills are dramatically detoriating). well no, it's not as bad as it sounds really, i haven't sold my life to work; but it's been proving true that in the law of three, something has to give. i've been at work and meeting people in real time real life; keeping up with people in the online sphere has all but collapsed.

in the times i do open my inbox, facing a hundred-odd mails each sitting is tiring, as is playing catchup with those who communicate with me virtually. people leaving for overseas, friends i haven't seen for months, important things, then there's the little -but many- things that happen, like photos that are uploaded, commented on multiple of multiple times, etc.

i do like keeping in touch with people in this way, in these little ways, but while i'm still figuring out how to adjust and adapt to this new, long-term life, i suppose i shall continue feeling bad. haha.

it's reaching the 45th minute, i shall listen to my body. in the meantime, i'll leave a photo, of another life, another place. here's one for the kids.