you can't have everything

you can't have everything

3:07amRachel
i didn't want those guys in singapore

3:07amAlethia
just because things won't work out... you can't "just try anyway" kind of thing

3:07amRachel
not try anyway
but
just be special friends

3:07amAlethia
it's mixed feelings
rachel... i talked to you about this before
guy friends and girl friends are different

3:08amRachel
really?

3:08amAlethia
yes

3:08amRachel
what did we say?
or you

3:08amAlethia
i said you can't treat guy and girl friends the same...
it's different
God made us different
you can't expect us to be the same type of friends

3:09amRachel
OH
i remeber this conversation now

3:09amAlethia
you can't just expect to be special friends because along the way... there will definitely have some hormones thrown in
yes
thank you

3:09amRachel
=p
i need reminders!
sigh
AL
I WANT TO MATTER TO HIM

3:09amAlethia
well i'm reminding you now
and you matter to him but just as a friend
nothing more
you cannot expect more

3:10amRachel
oh al
thanks for your words
which hurt
but are truthful
i cannot expect more

3:10amAlethia
sorry
i know they hurt

3:11amRachel
sigh

3:11amAlethia
but... i don't want you to get hurt later either if something really emotional happens later

3:11amRachel
but
it's the truth, so even if it hurts it's okay
sigh

3:11amAlethia
hey
don't worry

3:11amAlethia
in God's time k

3:11amRachel
i know

3:12amAlethia
some things cannot rush or be expected to come
just wait
and well... you have to try not to want to spend time with him too
besides... remember that you are leaving new zealand end of this year
don't want you to leave new zealand with all this emotional baggage k

3:13amRachel
sigh
it's hard now al =(
i think
because

3:13amAlethia
yeah i know

3:13amRachel
i kept thinking i deserved more from him

3:13amAlethia
yeah so you have to not think about him so much and expect things from him
that's how you will end up getting hurt
expectations that are not met will hurt you
so don't give yourself a reason to get hurt

3:14amRachel
OH MAN
=(

3:15amAlethia
so yeah... don't expect any relationship thing from a friendship
especially when you know a relationship will not blossom from the friendship
keep the friendship... don't push it to become a relationship
cos if it doesn't become a relationship, you will lose the friendship too... and you'll get more hurt then

the state of mourning

is over. because wayne got flowers to me, from singapore. :)

[i will put up photos soon, on my doingthekiwi account.]

i hereby delare-

a state of mourning, until i find a way to pass this module, or someone makes me forget this.


it's funny, that. today jason told us that during his german oral, he'd blanked out and forgot his words. and it was like his final exam. i felt sorry for him and bought him his favourite chocolate. and it cheered him up and he felt heaps better.

i wish i could do it for myself.

i got C for an essay, and i need a minimum of C+ if i'm to get MCs for exchange ))))):

Raghu says:
how many percent was the essay..
chel says:
30%
Raghu says:
cheh y u worry..
Raghu says:
we've done this b4..
Raghu says:
zhu is our guidin light n principle
chel says:
we have?
chel says:
what what
chel says:
tell me
Raghu says:
u noe i got B- for first essay right
Raghu says:
in the end come out with A..
Raghu says:
tats a huge ass jump
Raghu says:
from C to C+
Raghu says:
CONFIRM u will whack lah
Raghu says:
one aberration, one little bump in the rd isnt goin to do anything
chel says:
aw =)
Raghu says:
n tat was some arcane science shit
Raghu says:
this is english.. ur stuff.. i m sure a bunch of kiwis speakin funny isnt goin to damage ur grades..

_______________________________________

wasn't that sweet. *beams*
but. sigh. i handed up the other essay today (see post below). and if anything, i'm going to do worse for this one.

i don't know how. ): i'm so scared i'm going to fail, and then i'd have wasted a semester, and the effort. how ):