going solo the rachel way

1. so. i am back from 5 days of backpacking by myself (kind of).

2. when i came back, i found that erica left me a note on doingthekiwi.

erica // August 29, 2008 at 2:39 am

Hello rachel i am leaving (to find) you, even if you (have already) left.

See you on the other side (:

I really liked her paranthesis(es) and word play, and most of all the promise we make to still see, to still be.

3. I think 5 days can be condensed to two phrases: An enjoyment, and chaffing against, isolation, and drama the second half of the way.

4. Maybe I'll try pictures, to help me. In the meantime-

stars, and shooting stars, and moon sets and sun rises.

playing with ducks, shading your eyes while i gaze out to the huge expense of deep blue Lake Taupo water rippling skies in different shades of blue.

mountain climbing, and so much walking, ABBA in my head all the way.

thoughts while in lonesomeness, and ability to think crashing down around me from wednesday onwards.

cooking breakfasts for me,

me making salad for the three of us.

a home by the beach.

catching a fish flapping on the incoming tide- my first kill!

driving with the impeteousness of youth: in under 24 hours: taupo-napier-taupo-napier and-

i am glad you made to back up taupo, and onto auckland, safe.

a losing of aunty susan's winter shirt [i don't know how to tell her! ): ]

a pine cone i left in the backseat, along with maple syrup and fruit bread secretly for you.

a final hug, a final kiss on my forehead.

up i go on the bus, and watch you drive away in our silver camry.

and

and memories i don't know what to do with.

don't scared don't scared

hello dear, read ur blog/s n i get the feeling u feel apprehensive abt ur trip. quite normal to feel a little jittery i suppose: i felt... alone too when i sat on the train to new york city on my own.

but all that disappeared when the train pulled up n i stepped out of the station, cos all thats before me r endless possibilities ('shud i grab a hotdog now? or shud i go take pretty skyscraper photos??'... oh wait, i spot a bunch of hot japanese girls across the street... shall tail them n get a closer look...') - [scripted conversation, may not have happened in reality]

but ya, my point is, don't stay scared for too long k? cos when u forget ur fears and everything slides into focus, the solo road trip becomes so exhilarating and... refreshing..? n i was so glad i was alone. cos the 'kick' wouldn't have been as great if i wasn't so alone. (err does tt make sense? sorry darling, sleepy=incoherent)

so the bottomline is, i think u will stay scared and meek for all of 30seconds. after that u'll lose urself in the moment n enjoy the solitude. of cos, rembr to look out for urself amidst all the fun la.

no point burdening urself with all the self-doubt, worries at this point dear. don't scared k? :)

flying solo

i am full of thoughts today. of staying and leaving and planning and coordinating. of this unknown thing called independence. i want to travel the world With someone, not alone. i am tired of the kiwi accent.

and then.
let me declare my travel plans. a most probably alone trip.

1. wake up at 545am on tuesday morning, leave hall by 630, get to cable car (reaching at about 715), making it down by 730, walking to the railway station, making my way to the cutesily named Bunny station by 755.

Officially- Bunny Street

Bunny Street, (near Waterloo Quay), Outside Railway Station / OPPOSITE Backpackers.

Pick up at approximately 8:05AM
anddd.
The buses have nakedbus.com stickers at the side.

2. A couple of days in Taupo, a couple of days in Napier, then- home. Like this:

3. 1.40 pm at the napier bus stop- Travel Centre, 85 Munroe Street (wherever that is)
Booking Reference: #6675643
All passengers must report 15 minutes before departure
Sat 30 Aug 08 06:50pm Arrive Wellington
Railway Station, Platform 9

It isn't too hard.. right?

I'm kind of scared.

opportunity costs, so high

you know how you shouldn't think when you're tired? i'm real tired, but i'm also real.. disbalanced tonight.

i don't know if i should stay or if i should go.

i'm learning so much. i'm too tired to go into details, but i'm learning enough to want to stay and extend the experience.

but i'm leaving so much behind, and maybe it's too much.
rachel- "hey little girl in a small city" says:
i don't want to spend too much time apart from you

and that's precisely it. i don't want to spend too much time apart from any of you.

a funny story

of a boy high on marijuana, who asked the girl sitting beside him in the car, if she wanted to do something "crazy and go out for the three months left".
and two days later, messages to ask to meet so that he can "apologise and leave".


idiot.
(all men are scum.)

words fail me

they're in jc now, the twerps.