dear po po

You are gone, and any semblence of grief I might have had is likewise dissapated, replaced only with a weariness at following the rituals of mourning.


I wear a thin cotton shirt, white, for you, and my other grandmother pinned on the kakhi coloured patch even though I do not know why it is that colour, and neither blue, nor black. My nails are stripped of their pretty gold as a sign of respect for you, and that I mourn the most, because I do not have my own bottle, nor lacquer, to make them nice again.


My family's struggling with all the strange beliefs your death has imposed on us. It was distasteful to see your face so coloured, your lips so garish. You were not like that in life. You were austere. The pearl wedged between your lips; they say it's meant to guard you toward the afterlife but I can only think of how uncomfortable it must be if so, and if you would not look funny.





There are many things to say, po po. How my mind easily summons back images of yellow, yellow banners with strange signs, yellow walls of canvas, and entire mock-up of the taoist courts of heaven, and white robed monks weaving in and out of the altars where they take a potted plant and tell my uncles to offer gifts to you. Of funeral music, and chanting, and how I mind none of these.

There is much I think about, but I think enough has been said. God bless your soul.

odds and ends

1) I'll put up a more detailed post of jem's Commissioning Ball, promise.

2) gayle tried to shift to wordpress recently, but funnily enough she's back at diaryland, citing the same reasons I did. There must be something about natty old bolsters from our child pasts, soaked with drool, infussed with sleep, dreams and bedtime smells that linger on in the form of habit so that we cannot leave what we have grown beside.

3) I strained my hamstring after training on saturday, so now I walk slightly off-balance and feel a sharp discomfort when I shift my balance.

4) It was a crazy week, crazier weekend, but I'm thinking of it now happy. The curls are not staying, and I am mourning somewhat over my shortened and salon-smelling hair, but the thought that makes all this worthwhile, is that my tresses were perfect the night it mattered. I'll deal with the aftermath somehow.

5) I have such pretty, pretty nails and even though it's such a frivolous thing, they make my heart lift. Gold, please, and some lacquer as a top coat. So girlish, but I am glad anyhow.

6) This week is week9, and I now think of school in assignment terms, not the lesson timetable. There are many, but I shall get through them somehow and then there will be greater events to coordinate when this sem ends.

for you okay

dear best [guy] friend,

Alright, we took 20+ hours to find the Dress. Immense effort. But even now, even now, I wonder if I'll look good enough for you. I want to, to make up for missing the parade that meant so much to you. But I don't know if I can? And that thought makes for a planative expression on the face. I'll try to look as pretty as I can, and as long as you're proud of your date, I'll smile at the other girls too. Support me k?

love,
jinx partner.

photo time (:

I've been wanting to write about last week's cold, and the curious sensation of walking around in perpetual air-conditioning, as well as my recent diet of fats and oil (read: multiple carrot cakes, and western after western of oilio domes, carl's juniors, feasts and oh, my favouritest- chicken cutlet at the canteen), and how it's resulted in name-calling of my poor tummy, but I think I'll leave all that to another day. I haven't done a photo post for a long time now, so I shall today.

yuyin's 21st.

+1..

+2...

(hafidz's head is somewhat big, just like the rest of him)

yin, myself, sha, hafidz

can you see me??

mmm (:

i've also come to the conclusion that you need practice for champage popping

uh-huh.

Am liking this photo much (:

and this is how we say goodbye:

happy birthday babe.

wednesday got me, and it got me good

deviantart.com: cofetti

jonah day sa

today is a =( day

Days like today come once a semester, where from the start routine simply skips out of the door, and throughout the day nothing is ordinary: the supposed doesn't happen, every plan I make goes awry, all my journeys are doomed, I step out of the room only to return dripping wet.

I do feel like that pair of leggings and high heels- all dressed up but even nowhere won't go.

Eventful Days

And it seems uni life is made of up such as these-

.

Abstract poses, funny faces, my favourite slippers. Also the oddest combinations: zebralightlamppost, two humans, concretized sphere, glen's backpack. Think whimsical collection of bohemia/a quirky assortment of various odds and ends.

And-

Unplanned adventures, unconstructive days. Long days, lazy days. Thereafter with desperate all-nighters to meet deadlines. Mmm.

.

Clear skies, rain-smelling ground.

有些事我只想要对你说- 祷告 因为我渺小

tehuti.deviantart.com

am feeling somewhat like this today, a silent by-myself walk in sepia print. A little lonely, a little tired, wondering about certain issues on the way. Things were done that are right, but they are hard, and right now like estha i have Two Thoughts:
-it's hard because it's right, (yet)
-the consolation comes in knowing: it's right.



strength and honour are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come