"Here I stand
The dawning of a brand new day
As I look to the way ahead
In my heart burns the fire of learning
And it shines everywhere I go
Never fading and ever yearning-
While I live, I learn and grow

I will seek and explore
Open each and every door
Always caring and faithful and true
To be a guiding light
Set the future shining bright
For my college,
And for nation too

I am a true Pioneer
Crossing every new frontier
With conviction I take every turn
This passion I will hold
So that everyone may know
I believe, while I live I learn."

I tried to sing this today, but I couldn't for the tears that were coursing down my face and the sobs that were threatening to overwhelm me.
When all's been said and done, I'm here. I chose pjc; I chose to be a pioneer. No more looking at what-ifs and perhaps[s]. They're useless, I see it now.

I chose to be in pjc... and it is a good choice.

Saying goodbye today was nothing like I'd dreamed of. According to fauzy, sometime this time last year I envisioned a grand sobby farewell with 04A01.
I had my sobby farewell all right.. but who would have imagined that I'd be in tears not because of 04A01 but because of my actions this year?
04A01 disbanded last year.. too many people retained. hah. That's what happens to the funkiest classes that drink too long on the cup of life and forget the importance of drudgery in school.
I cried because of certain things I did.
To those whom I hurt because of my words, I'm sorry.

That's all I'll say here. I've said that I want to to you today.. and I've made extra efforts with some people.

It's just that- today was a very painful day for me and I realise more than ever just how special some people are. Who are able to see beyond my careless words and deeds and love me for who I am. For maintaining the friendship.

The head hurts.. I think I'll go off.
[so does the heart. goodnight.]

Once upon a time there was a girl. She liked drawing netball poles with netballs on her notes. Her friend liked them too. Her friend told her so on the canteen table. The girl remembered that just that morning, she had drawn her best ever netball pole with a netball on her inequalities lecture notes. She wanted her friend to have her best ever netball pole with the netball.

"Will you give me your inequalities lecture notes?" , the girl asked.
"Give? no? why?", her friend replied.
"Will you give me your notes?", she persisted.

"But I need them. Do our lectures clash?"
"No."
"Okay so maybe I could lend them to you and have them back afterward?"
"Will you give me your lecture notes?"
"No. I need them."
"Will you give me your notes?"
"Why?"
"I want them."
"But I need them."
"Will you give me your lecture notes?"
Silence.

"Trust me", the girl tried to convey with her eyes. But maybe because she wore her glasses that day the message got stopped by the glass. She wanted her friend to have her best ever drawing of the netball pole with the netball. Her friend liked her drawings of netball poles with netballs.
And she loved her friend, so she tried again.

"Will you give me your inequalities lecture notes?"
"No! Is this a test?"

The girl looked down.
"Will you give me your inequalities lecture notes?"

"No.."

"Okay."

I'm just tired.

No mood for witty stories..
I spent an enjoyable night with the netballers [and some j1 basketballers] at the airport.. charissa pj iz firda myself colin benson and andrew.. j1 basketballers are funny. (:
Slept on mac's couch from four to six..
We went to harbourfront for breakfast.. gerald joined us.
Then it was off to Clementi and then church and then home.

So. To sum it up.
Changi to Harbourfront to Clementi to Serangoon Gardens to Bt Timah.
How about that?
On two hours of sleep too. [Of course, I napped on the rides.]
Tour Singapore Day.

I did crap for prelims.
This is nowhere near what last year's rachel had envisioned life to be.
rachel in j1 was a happy girl. Lots of stuff went right.
rachel in j2 is.. oh I don't know.
Told you I'm not in the mood for smart-talk.
I think I'm turning dumb.
hah.

sigh.
A levels A levels...



I think I won't be blogging much from now on..
So umm.
I don't know.
So weird.

I'm tired my dears.. tired.
I'm glad for you people who are so sweet. Who take time to spend with me. Even if I don't have time right now.

Hey. Be patient with me this coming month? I think I'm starting to snap at people.. which is real bad.
I don't want to. :'(
Maybe you guys should stay away from me.

I don't know rachel anymore.