0938hrs.
Good grief. I should be given an award. I'm still alive after my math c lecture. Integration ought to be taught to hard-core repeat criminal offenders and after an hour I promise you they'll be so trumatised that they'll promise to do ANYTHING just as long no integration ever comes near them again. Integration ought to be approached with a hundred foot prong and destroyed.
What on earth is integration good for anyway? Besides killing what little brain cells I have left. In between each brutal assult I think random thoughts to myself like how I should've taken something easier, like a pHd in Chinese or something. How can they do this to me? It's been barely two hours since I left my bed!
Remind me never to go to nydc at ten in the night and gorge on mudpies brownies and milk chocolate elephancinnos [did I get that right?]. Even if it's my birthday. I'm dying. If it's possible, I think I'm having a hangover. And I'm going to gain 10kg from all that sugar.
I'm already stupid [math proved it]. Now I'm going to turn far and ugly.. as if being short wasn't hard enough.
The formula for Integration by Parts is given by "The integral of a product of two functions is equal to the integral of one function times the other function minus the integral of the product of the integral already found times the differential coefficient of the other function."
Oh jolly.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
hotel rwanda
What a great, great movie.
I went to watch Hotel Rwanda today.. on pain of mr koh's "it isn't complusory but you better go" face. haha.
Hotel Rwanda is beyond excellent. It's a movie that tells about the Rwanda genocide.
It's a movie that calls deep into our hearts and forces us to see, really see what went on. Hatred, courage, love and dauntless hope slammed into my face scene after scene- the sheer energy ripped into me and wouldn't let go.
Close to a million africans died and the western countries refused to help.. not till it was too late. Close to a million! Murdered! Killed by human hands!
Stop being desentisized, people. think! Women from one tribe raped by hiv-infected men so that they would get the diease. Children killed so that the tribe's next generation would be wiped out!
It was so easy for the rest of the world to just sit back and eat dinner while watching the news.
Think, people, read and try to picture it! Why don't we ever care about the rest of humanity outside singapore?
It's still happening! Wars are still being fought, even if the media doesn't deem them important enough to be reported.
People are still killing and being killed.
What will it take before we wake up and feel their pain?
It's a real pain. It's NOT a movie. It isn't fiction!
People! Tragedy isn't doing badly at our exams or breaking up with our whoevers.
Tragedy is turning our faces away from the cries of help!
Try, try and imagine. Don't read this as a blog entry, take it one step further and go away from the safety and comfort of your homes. Go into the movie theatres and watch it if you have to!
I was so impacted. The Hutu man who despite being of the "superior race" [think germany], sheltered more than a thousand Tutis in a hotel, desperately using everything he had to hold out till the UN finally woke up and sent troops in. The fear he went through, the raw emotions truma and stress-
What will it take for us to respond?
There are people out there who need our help`
My point is this: After our academic obligations are completed, rush not into the highest paying job. Take the time to help others.
If you don't want to, go watch Hotel Rwanda and see what I mean.
Get out of your self-centered life and feel someone else's heart for two hours.
Not all can handle it.
I went to watch Hotel Rwanda today.. on pain of mr koh's "it isn't complusory but you better go" face. haha.
Hotel Rwanda is beyond excellent. It's a movie that tells about the Rwanda genocide.
It's a movie that calls deep into our hearts and forces us to see, really see what went on. Hatred, courage, love and dauntless hope slammed into my face scene after scene- the sheer energy ripped into me and wouldn't let go.
Close to a million africans died and the western countries refused to help.. not till it was too late. Close to a million! Murdered! Killed by human hands!
Stop being desentisized, people. think! Women from one tribe raped by hiv-infected men so that they would get the diease. Children killed so that the tribe's next generation would be wiped out!
It was so easy for the rest of the world to just sit back and eat dinner while watching the news.
Think, people, read and try to picture it! Why don't we ever care about the rest of humanity outside singapore?
It's still happening! Wars are still being fought, even if the media doesn't deem them important enough to be reported.
People are still killing and being killed.
What will it take before we wake up and feel their pain?
It's a real pain. It's NOT a movie. It isn't fiction!
People! Tragedy isn't doing badly at our exams or breaking up with our whoevers.
Tragedy is turning our faces away from the cries of help!
Try, try and imagine. Don't read this as a blog entry, take it one step further and go away from the safety and comfort of your homes. Go into the movie theatres and watch it if you have to!
I was so impacted. The Hutu man who despite being of the "superior race" [think germany], sheltered more than a thousand Tutis in a hotel, desperately using everything he had to hold out till the UN finally woke up and sent troops in. The fear he went through, the raw emotions truma and stress-
What will it take for us to respond?
There are people out there who need our help`
My point is this: After our academic obligations are completed, rush not into the highest paying job. Take the time to help others.
If you don't want to, go watch Hotel Rwanda and see what I mean.
Get out of your self-centered life and feel someone else's heart for two hours.
Not all can handle it.
Friday, January 21, 2005
one of those silly things
This is amazing. This is the third time I'm writing something in a day. I'll get tired of it soon, the way I get tired of Angela Carter.
I used to think that no book's too tough for me but then again that was before I met her. The way she writes is worse than any blog I've met, so confusing is she. Her sentences are strangely structured and nothing makes full sense. [read: everything makes half sense.] Reading her works seems to me much like reading a japanese book that was badly translated so that while the words are english, the meaning's her own and no one else knows what to make of it. At least I don't. Sometimes I feel like that, sometimes I feel blown away by her energy.
Do you think literature's pretentious? I have a love-hate relationship with it.. especially the Gothic genre and post-colonialism works. I'm told that the gothic's primary aim is to create a sense of unease within its readers but here I am in the 21st centuary reading books written in the 16th. Vamps and created monsters no longer scare me; I've been desensitised. Besides, isn't the mark of great art the fact that it lasts and will till time eternal? So does that mean that the Gothic isn't art? Or maybe, I'm just the cow that can't understand music. I don't see the beauty in van gogh's Sunflower anyway. I think I spelt his name wrongly.
Ah, poor me.
Yet when I get it, I'm lifted to higher ground and there! I'm nourished.
Besides, imagine a world that was filled with only math or science. Right now, I'm assuming they're mutually exclusive but hey wait. Could math and science ever complement art? In my lowly ignorance I dare not presume I know all.
The only reason why I'm writing like this is because I've just finished Carter's book and I'm too much rumpled to talk like a normal singaporean. If I don't make sense,that's because I've been 'Carterised'. haha.
Do you know how much thought goes into any blog? A dozen sentences or so have to parade bedazzledly around my mind before I pick the one which best expresses what I want to share. So simply put, for every sentence/point you read, lots of thought would have gone into it and maybe that's why my entries sometimes seem deflated when I read them again after some time. The eleven thoughts weren't published. Then again one positive side to it is that my entries are one-eleventh of the actual length they ought to be and they are pretty long already anyway.
I'm going to enter another entry that needs no thought. I'm going to do a quiz thing I got from al's entry. haha.
______________________________________
The Entry That Needs No Thought.
TEN random things about me:
1: I'm one-eighth paranakan
2: I can't take coffee
3: I still read enid blyton
4: My mom wanted to name me Isabelle Ng Yan Zi. [imagine that.]
5: When I was a kid, I told my mom I wanted to change my name.
6: My mom told me to find another family
7: After many years, I've decided that rachel's a fantastic name. [I do, really.]
8: I painted my own room. It's in different shades of orange, yellow and red.
9: Because I painted my own room, I got tired before I finished and that's why there's a green wall.
10: I think braces are cool. Actually asked my dentist if I could get a fake one and he laughed at me.
NINE types of food I love:
1: CHOCOLATE!!!!!
2: Shepherd's pie
3: Carrot cake.
4: Hot fudge. Ice cream optional.
5: Mrs Field's brownies! I love them!
6: Famous Amos cookies. mmmmmm....
7: Roti Prata
8: Durian ((:
9: tortellini
EIGHT things I want:
1: A bag that's good for school. It's hard to find one.
2: A chauffer. haha.
3: A pen that'll never run out of ink.
4: Shoes... training shoes, going out shoes... man.
5: A brain that'll last me till I die.
6: A nice big oven that can bake.
7: To. let my friends know how much I really do love them.
8: wisdom.
SEVEN ways to win my heart:
1: Be God-fearing
2:To have wit and humor, to make me laugh. that is to me more important than looks.
3: Know what you want to do.
4: Love my family and friends [cliche but true]
5: Chocolate. I'm such a weakling.
6: Accept me and my idosryncracies
7: Be the leader in your way.
SIX pet peeves:
1: Pms
2: The way pants and I don't complement.
3: Why can't chocolate be healthy?
4: Singapore doesn't hold enough sales.
5: My height [or the lack of it.]
6: Soccer.
FIVE things I'm afraid of:
1: The A levels.
2: Fish eyes
3: A sweet talking jerk.
4: Losing my loved ones
5: Making God sad. [sigh]
FOUR of my favourite things:
1: The wallet qh bought for me. It reminds me of our friendship and I'm still so touched by her deed.
2: The neo-prints in my wallet. The people in there are my dearest friends.
3: My room because it is me.
4: Mirrors. [Yeah I'm narissistic]
THREE things I do everyday:
1: Do qt.
2: Fart.
3: Struggle to accept myself and love me.
TWO things I want to do right now:
1: Shop
2: um. Shop?
ONE person I want to see right now:
1: No one actually. I'm in my home clothes now and that isn't exactly the prettiest sight. haha.
I used to think that no book's too tough for me but then again that was before I met her. The way she writes is worse than any blog I've met, so confusing is she. Her sentences are strangely structured and nothing makes full sense. [read: everything makes half sense.] Reading her works seems to me much like reading a japanese book that was badly translated so that while the words are english, the meaning's her own and no one else knows what to make of it. At least I don't. Sometimes I feel like that, sometimes I feel blown away by her energy.
Do you think literature's pretentious? I have a love-hate relationship with it.. especially the Gothic genre and post-colonialism works. I'm told that the gothic's primary aim is to create a sense of unease within its readers but here I am in the 21st centuary reading books written in the 16th. Vamps and created monsters no longer scare me; I've been desensitised. Besides, isn't the mark of great art the fact that it lasts and will till time eternal? So does that mean that the Gothic isn't art? Or maybe, I'm just the cow that can't understand music. I don't see the beauty in van gogh's Sunflower anyway. I think I spelt his name wrongly.
Ah, poor me.
Yet when I get it, I'm lifted to higher ground and there! I'm nourished.
Besides, imagine a world that was filled with only math or science. Right now, I'm assuming they're mutually exclusive but hey wait. Could math and science ever complement art? In my lowly ignorance I dare not presume I know all.
The only reason why I'm writing like this is because I've just finished Carter's book and I'm too much rumpled to talk like a normal singaporean. If I don't make sense,that's because I've been 'Carterised'. haha.
Do you know how much thought goes into any blog? A dozen sentences or so have to parade bedazzledly around my mind before I pick the one which best expresses what I want to share. So simply put, for every sentence/point you read, lots of thought would have gone into it and maybe that's why my entries sometimes seem deflated when I read them again after some time. The eleven thoughts weren't published. Then again one positive side to it is that my entries are one-eleventh of the actual length they ought to be and they are pretty long already anyway.
I'm going to enter another entry that needs no thought. I'm going to do a quiz thing I got from al's entry. haha.
______________________________________
The Entry That Needs No Thought.
TEN random things about me:
1: I'm one-eighth paranakan
2: I can't take coffee
3: I still read enid blyton
4: My mom wanted to name me Isabelle Ng Yan Zi. [imagine that.]
5: When I was a kid, I told my mom I wanted to change my name.
6: My mom told me to find another family
7: After many years, I've decided that rachel's a fantastic name. [I do, really.]
8: I painted my own room. It's in different shades of orange, yellow and red.
9: Because I painted my own room, I got tired before I finished and that's why there's a green wall.
10: I think braces are cool. Actually asked my dentist if I could get a fake one and he laughed at me.
NINE types of food I love:
1: CHOCOLATE!!!!!
2: Shepherd's pie
3: Carrot cake.
4: Hot fudge. Ice cream optional.
5: Mrs Field's brownies! I love them!
6: Famous Amos cookies. mmmmmm....
7: Roti Prata
8: Durian ((:
9: tortellini
EIGHT things I want:
1: A bag that's good for school. It's hard to find one.
2: A chauffer. haha.
3: A pen that'll never run out of ink.
4: Shoes... training shoes, going out shoes... man.
5: A brain that'll last me till I die.
6: A nice big oven that can bake.
7: To. let my friends know how much I really do love them.
8: wisdom.
SEVEN ways to win my heart:
1: Be God-fearing
2:To have wit and humor, to make me laugh. that is to me more important than looks.
3: Know what you want to do.
4: Love my family and friends [cliche but true]
5: Chocolate. I'm such a weakling.
6: Accept me and my idosryncracies
7: Be the leader in your way.
SIX pet peeves:
1: Pms
2: The way pants and I don't complement.
3: Why can't chocolate be healthy?
4: Singapore doesn't hold enough sales.
5: My height [or the lack of it.]
6: Soccer.
FIVE things I'm afraid of:
1: The A levels.
2: Fish eyes
3: A sweet talking jerk.
4: Losing my loved ones
5: Making God sad. [sigh]
FOUR of my favourite things:
1: The wallet qh bought for me. It reminds me of our friendship and I'm still so touched by her deed.
2: The neo-prints in my wallet. The people in there are my dearest friends.
3: My room because it is me.
4: Mirrors. [Yeah I'm narissistic]
THREE things I do everyday:
1: Do qt.
2: Fart.
3: Struggle to accept myself and love me.
TWO things I want to do right now:
1: Shop
2: um. Shop?
ONE person I want to see right now:
1: No one actually. I'm in my home clothes now and that isn't exactly the prettiest sight. haha.
Maybe in school I feel pressured to push myself further, to care about grades when I don't believe in them and generally to be. well, ambitious is the best word I've got. I guess that takes more out of me than I realise and that's the fairest explaination I can come up with as to the frequent "um rach you look really fierce when you don't smile" comment I get in school.
I'M NOT FIERCE!
haha.
There's a closet snob hiding in me and it takes effort not to let it out. It's easy to be snobbish... easier to blurt out thought-less remarks than to keep my mouth shut.
I love my friends the way they are, for who they are... for letting me be who I am, for loving me the way I am. When they let me be silly... and show me their silly side too. (: These kind of friendships take time... time is needed for eperience and with experience, growth. The girls who've been in my life for just about the longest time owuld be al and mayboo I suppose. It's be before primary school (: How about that? More than 10 years... and considering I'm still 17. [even that's going to change soon (:] I have so many amazing friendships I cherish for very different reasons but in the end it's about mutual accpetance and trush and. committment. Then, even if you're 12 and you meet someone in your primary school just two months before leaving it, your friendship'll last to this day and beyond. Trust me. (:
I'M NOT FIERCE!
haha.
There's a closet snob hiding in me and it takes effort not to let it out. It's easy to be snobbish... easier to blurt out thought-less remarks than to keep my mouth shut.
I love my friends the way they are, for who they are... for letting me be who I am, for loving me the way I am. When they let me be silly... and show me their silly side too. (: These kind of friendships take time... time is needed for eperience and with experience, growth. The girls who've been in my life for just about the longest time owuld be al and mayboo I suppose. It's be before primary school (: How about that? More than 10 years... and considering I'm still 17. [even that's going to change soon (:] I have so many amazing friendships I cherish for very different reasons but in the end it's about mutual accpetance and trush and. committment. Then, even if you're 12 and you meet someone in your primary school just two months before leaving it, your friendship'll last to this day and beyond. Trust me. (:
To all blog readers out there, do you ever wonder about your blog? I do. I have entries I really like, entries whose certain lines I like, entries I don't like at all but I keep anyway because. there's something in them that refuses to be muted.
I love writing, I love acting out characters on stage, I love being on stage. I love being me, I love being someone else because I make that someone else me. Too bad my expressions are- mine if you can, ever take a sneak peek into the way I think and feel, when I do think and feel, be sure to take some back because I don't know this part of me well either. Maybe we can exchange notes.
strange, attractive fun and wonderful this creature with her unabashed quirks and fantastic side of reality that is a dream-scape. She has something of anne of green gables and rebecca of sunnybrook farm but no, she's not like them nor like darrell of malory towers. Think emily of new moon who smiles "chummily at her emily-in-the-glass" yet she isn't her. She peeps out at me with eyes that bewilder because I know not what they mean. They are oh. so shy. How can she be me? I see only her face for I know her body is bare. She, the pure little thing knows not what to do with clothes. What, cover herself? To what purpose? The puzzled pixie makes a doubtful noise at the garments I hold. She has nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. Now I see her physical form and it is whiter than the already blinding space we're in, the harsh flourescent setting like that in the matrix. She's not like me, she isn't tanned a heathen brown. She's cream, she's ivory, she's glowing and almost translucent. I can pretend, if I can to, that I can see through her. Pretend, mind you. For though you've never seen her she's as read as I am and she's a part of me.
Why so unlike then?, you ask. Why silly, she giggles, I'm just never allowed to come out long enough to see the sun. Ah, my innocent woman-child. She has none the form of ripened fruit, so much has she yet to grow, so little have I nutured her. My fault I guess. It is unintentioinally that I crush, almost suffocate my elfish beauty in my hardening heart (where she resides) that is comotose so that the brain might have more of me. The luminous eyes have a hint of shadow in them now. Banish the thought! What I would not to. Like the North Wind, I would tend to, teach, love and even wait- at the back of the North Wind.
The beautiful, the sensitive, the etheral
I love writing, I love acting out characters on stage, I love being on stage. I love being me, I love being someone else because I make that someone else me. Too bad my expressions are- mine if you can, ever take a sneak peek into the way I think and feel, when I do think and feel, be sure to take some back because I don't know this part of me well either. Maybe we can exchange notes.
strange, attractive fun and wonderful this creature with her unabashed quirks and fantastic side of reality that is a dream-scape. She has something of anne of green gables and rebecca of sunnybrook farm but no, she's not like them nor like darrell of malory towers. Think emily of new moon who smiles "chummily at her emily-in-the-glass" yet she isn't her. She peeps out at me with eyes that bewilder because I know not what they mean. They are oh. so shy. How can she be me? I see only her face for I know her body is bare. She, the pure little thing knows not what to do with clothes. What, cover herself? To what purpose? The puzzled pixie makes a doubtful noise at the garments I hold. She has nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. Now I see her physical form and it is whiter than the already blinding space we're in, the harsh flourescent setting like that in the matrix. She's not like me, she isn't tanned a heathen brown. She's cream, she's ivory, she's glowing and almost translucent. I can pretend, if I can to, that I can see through her. Pretend, mind you. For though you've never seen her she's as read as I am and she's a part of me.
Why so unlike then?, you ask. Why silly, she giggles, I'm just never allowed to come out long enough to see the sun. Ah, my innocent woman-child. She has none the form of ripened fruit, so much has she yet to grow, so little have I nutured her. My fault I guess. It is unintentioinally that I crush, almost suffocate my elfish beauty in my hardening heart (where she resides) that is comotose so that the brain might have more of me. The luminous eyes have a hint of shadow in them now. Banish the thought! What I would not to. Like the North Wind, I would tend to, teach, love and even wait- at the back of the North Wind.
The beautiful, the sensitive, the etheral
Thursday, January 20, 2005
17 january
The battle within.
"I'll never tell them
I want to be 43kg.
Statistic: 48.7kg, 159cm [short]
Since I can't seem to grow taller-
I must get skinner.
They said in the papers today
There's an actress who's
Statistic: 38kg, 159cm [tall]
I guess
I could try to vomit the M&Ms I had for dinner but
I don't think I ate enough to do that.
They say too much puke'll spoil the enamel of my teeth.
I wouldn't want that.
I like my teeth.
Why
won't my tummy go
down?
I didn't want to dinner
I didn't.
It was pure
Sloveny
Lustful
Greed-
Disgusting greed that tastes like
Oil that-
"pours down your throat;
Girls' tummies, they have
Sponges in them that
soaks up the oil.
That's why the tummy can't go
Down.
oh yes my precious! That's what
they do, oh yes."
"But Master says-"
"What does Master know!
They tells you Master knows
Everything
But Master never says
Anything -no He doesn't
and then
all the oil never goes
no
it doesn't
the tummy
never
flattens."
And so.
I listen."
"I'll never tell them
I want to be 43kg.
Statistic: 48.7kg, 159cm [short]
Since I can't seem to grow taller-
I must get skinner.
They said in the papers today
There's an actress who's
Statistic: 38kg, 159cm [tall]
I guess
I could try to vomit the M&Ms I had for dinner but
I don't think I ate enough to do that.
They say too much puke'll spoil the enamel of my teeth.
I wouldn't want that.
I like my teeth.
Why
won't my tummy go
down?
I didn't want to dinner
I didn't.
It was pure
Sloveny
Lustful
Greed-
Disgusting greed that tastes like
Oil that-
"pours down your throat;
Girls' tummies, they have
Sponges in them that
soaks up the oil.
That's why the tummy can't go
Down.
oh yes my precious! That's what
they do, oh yes."
"But Master says-"
"What does Master know!
They tells you Master knows
Everything
But Master never says
Anything -no He doesn't
and then
all the oil never goes
no
it doesn't
the tummy
never
flattens."
And so.
I listen."
Friday, January 14, 2005
A bowl of oatmeal
This entry has nothing to do with oatmeal. Though I must say it's nice and healthy. (:
How wonderful. I saw a spider building its web today.. it was kind enough to offer me a front row seat. Venue: The table outside the former art room. Building blocks: My bag, books and bottle. grin.
It was fascinating, watching it run busily back and forth the single strand it'd created doing things I was ignorant of. Have you ever seen a spider build it's web? I had a VIP view, yet... I never saw it build its web. Fault my [comparatively] clumsy, awkward eyes if you must. My two eyes are probably ten times bigger than the spider's eight orbs added up and I can't see ten times as well. Nor perceive even half of what I ought to.
I feel so blind sometimes.
School has started, still no word from me about how it is. What can I say? Read my blog. I seem to have a nack of offending people. Whatever I say, whatever I do.
Okay I'm exaggerating.
I'm not quite good with my new class yet. Strange for me... I mean. think of me and what words come to mind? I guess maybe, extroverted would be one of them. I think I'm changing inside though. Not sure how. Just that.. I think more these days. much ado about nothing? I don't know. Rachel doesn't seem to be so good with people anymore. I think she's closing up.
What a depressing paragraph. I shan't be another one of those pesduo-melancholic angst filled teenagers because there's more to life than moaning about self.
I saw eric's '12 storys' today during lit lecture. The internationally acclaimed award winning film shown in France, Germany etcetcetc. Was it good? It was... not exactly depressing [though amanda was moaning on and on during training after that] because I felt that the film was very biased against singapore and that made it unrealistic which pissed me off. I mean, if the film was really that great, shouldn't it have painted a [more] balanced picture? Biasness is inevitable, esp if one wants to make a socio-political film, but a broader view will do no harm, will it not? Anyhow, I'll be discussing it next week so I expect to be more enlightened then. haha.
A bowl of oatmeal.
I've been thinking a lot about him these days... more than I did last year.
Literature is so challenging.
Daddy says I have to go.. so I shall.
How wonderful. I saw a spider building its web today.. it was kind enough to offer me a front row seat. Venue: The table outside the former art room. Building blocks: My bag, books and bottle. grin.
It was fascinating, watching it run busily back and forth the single strand it'd created doing things I was ignorant of. Have you ever seen a spider build it's web? I had a VIP view, yet... I never saw it build its web. Fault my [comparatively] clumsy, awkward eyes if you must. My two eyes are probably ten times bigger than the spider's eight orbs added up and I can't see ten times as well. Nor perceive even half of what I ought to.
I feel so blind sometimes.
School has started, still no word from me about how it is. What can I say? Read my blog. I seem to have a nack of offending people. Whatever I say, whatever I do.
Okay I'm exaggerating.
I'm not quite good with my new class yet. Strange for me... I mean. think of me and what words come to mind? I guess maybe, extroverted would be one of them. I think I'm changing inside though. Not sure how. Just that.. I think more these days. much ado about nothing? I don't know. Rachel doesn't seem to be so good with people anymore. I think she's closing up.
What a depressing paragraph. I shan't be another one of those pesduo-melancholic angst filled teenagers because there's more to life than moaning about self.
I saw eric's '12 storys' today during lit lecture. The internationally acclaimed award winning film shown in France, Germany etcetcetc. Was it good? It was... not exactly depressing [though amanda was moaning on and on during training after that] because I felt that the film was very biased against singapore and that made it unrealistic which pissed me off. I mean, if the film was really that great, shouldn't it have painted a [more] balanced picture? Biasness is inevitable, esp if one wants to make a socio-political film, but a broader view will do no harm, will it not? Anyhow, I'll be discussing it next week so I expect to be more enlightened then. haha.
A bowl of oatmeal.
I've been thinking a lot about him these days... more than I did last year.
Literature is so challenging.
Daddy says I have to go.. so I shall.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
school
Guess I won't bother about the premarital sex thing... I've said what I wanted, you've had your say too, whoever you are.
Well let's see. School's started... I miss 04A01 LOTS.
You know when I first came into A01 I never thought I'd say this. hah. It took us a reeeeeeeeally long time to bond. Yeah. But we've been the most happening class I've ever had. We had so many strong characters. Flamboyant ones, noisy ones, domineering ones...
Boisterious wld be a pretty good word to describe us I think. [even if the spelling's wrong. grin.]
The new class? We're all still settling in and stuff now... testing the water, checking out class dynamics. And I've got no complaints about my teachers... haven't met them all though. But yeah, know who they are.
Just a sidenote. Like qh, I too "could not wait to try on my school uniform this morning, for some reason that I myself have failed to register. Thus, in the early morning, I hurriedly slipped into my blouse and skirt and I acutally felt happy and smiled goofily into the mirror. For three seconds. (Not that I was counting.)".
I did exactly that too girl. (: The first day of school at least. haha.
What else? Oh did you know some people in the team actually think that jane and I aren't committed. Well at least they told it to our faces and not behind our backs. And after a long sit-down [which was really heated and all] we got our point across.
Just because we don't act lovey-dovey with the team like the others do or laugh with them isn't a sign of un.committment. It's the things we've done and the sacrifices we've made that speak louder.
Except they didn't bother to think that before they accused us of in.committment. [at this point you can so tell I don't know what the proper word is. =Pp]
It kind of hurts that people can even think that.
Ohwell I'm sure everything'll clear up soon...
haha btw. Names have been changed to protect privacy. grin.
I saw my brother today! He's having a blast and all... [for those not in the know, he's in the singapore sports school now] Hey boyboy if you ever read this,
I LOooOOooVE YOoOOOoooU!
am I not the greatest sister in the world?
grin.
Well let's see. School's started... I miss 04A01 LOTS.
You know when I first came into A01 I never thought I'd say this. hah. It took us a reeeeeeeeally long time to bond. Yeah. But we've been the most happening class I've ever had. We had so many strong characters. Flamboyant ones, noisy ones, domineering ones...
Boisterious wld be a pretty good word to describe us I think. [even if the spelling's wrong. grin.]
The new class? We're all still settling in and stuff now... testing the water, checking out class dynamics. And I've got no complaints about my teachers... haven't met them all though. But yeah, know who they are.
Just a sidenote. Like qh, I too "could not wait to try on my school uniform this morning, for some reason that I myself have failed to register. Thus, in the early morning, I hurriedly slipped into my blouse and skirt and I acutally felt happy and smiled goofily into the mirror. For three seconds. (Not that I was counting.)".
I did exactly that too girl. (: The first day of school at least. haha.
What else? Oh did you know some people in the team actually think that jane and I aren't committed. Well at least they told it to our faces and not behind our backs. And after a long sit-down [which was really heated and all] we got our point across.
Just because we don't act lovey-dovey with the team like the others do or laugh with them isn't a sign of un.committment. It's the things we've done and the sacrifices we've made that speak louder.
Except they didn't bother to think that before they accused us of in.committment. [at this point you can so tell I don't know what the proper word is. =Pp]
It kind of hurts that people can even think that.
Ohwell I'm sure everything'll clear up soon...
haha btw. Names have been changed to protect privacy. grin.
I saw my brother today! He's having a blast and all... [for those not in the know, he's in the singapore sports school now] Hey boyboy if you ever read this,
I LOooOOooVE YOoOOOoooU!
am I not the greatest sister in the world?
grin.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
replying to my posties [cf to my previous post]
First and foremost, I want to say that I don't want a verbal war over this. I like talking, debating and comments over these kind of issues but that's all, alright? At the end of the day, when it's been exhausted, let's just agree to disagree if we have to. Okay?
If the way I write offends any one, I don't mean to. I'll try to make this as uhh for want of a better word, professional as I can, not let emotions come into this and all, but I hope all of us will be mature enough to see this as a discussion and not personal attacks yah?
I'm not saying I know everything. I'm really not trying to be judgemental or arrogent. I'm just sharing what I know and feel and everyone's welcome to do the same.
Next. I apologise to shyama. Girl, I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. We've been through so much together and I'm sorry if I was insensitive.
Hmmm. Important things done. Let's begin round2. (:
Now. A diamond is changes its shape when viewed from different angles. In the same way, what is a fact to me may be an opinion to you.
Statement1: I disagree with tookie's idea that " sex before marriage...it is simply judgemental to say it is wrong".
It is not "simply judgemental". It is a fact.
See, we have to understand where each other is coming from. As smashworm said, "I don't know if your friend is a Christian, but we are. That is probably why we hold such strong views against issues like abortion and sexual relationships before marriage."
I believe in God. I have acknowledged Him as God. Therefore, what He says, I follow. Because He is God.
This, is where I'm coming from. That's why to Christians, pre-marital sex IS wrong.
I don't know who barcza is, but I'm definitely very suprised by your statements. You claim that "im also a christian" and then go on to say that "to publicly declare tt its wrong takes a very judgmental person in my opinion".
Hello? Tookie can say that bcz she doesn't acknowledge God, as her God. Therefore our convictions will obviously be different. But a Christian who claims that " i dun think pre-marital sex is gd, but honestly, i dun think its wrong either" should check the Bible. [barcza, as a Christian, you do believe that the Bible is the word of God Himself, don't you?]
Basically, what smashworm and I are saying is that as Christians, we have committed ourselves to God's laws and commandments [which are found in the Bible], one of which is, pre-matrital sex is wrong.
That's all. What I was saying in the previous post stemmed from my convictions and that is why I'm sorry I hurt a close friend of mine. I stand by what I said, but I didn't mean to cause pain.
Okay. So much for pre-marital sex. Next.
I'm curious as to where barcza got his/her ideas from. It's stated very clearly in the Bible that pre-marital sex is wrong. Find me any verse or passage that says that pre-marital sex [or adultry] is okay with God.
"like how the christians and the muslims now hack at each other constantly despite the bible and koran both saying not to kill your fellow man"
My reply: Do you think these Christians are really Christians, or do they just call themselves Christians? I can claim to be a guru in eating habits whereas in reality, I'm just a chocoholic. [This may not be the best analogy but give me a break. (:] My point is, many people say they are Christians. It's not up to me to decide if they are or not. But one good way is to see their actions. The Bible does say that thou shalt not kill. Go figure.
"besides, the christian faith has proven to be wrong on many occasions".
Me: Okay this is where I get really worried. Let me make this very clear. The Christian faith has yet to be proven wrong. What do you mean by "christian faith" anyway?
Number1. BIG difference between "christian faith", and the Church. If someone were to say that the Church has proven to be wrong on many occasions, I'm not going to be defensive and insist that no! the Church is perfect! The Church has indeed in the past, been wrong. The Church. Not the "christian faith". If the "christian faith" were EVER "proven to be wrong", then what I believe in is all for naught and Christianity is a sham. And why should I believe in something that has been proven to be wrong? It really isn't easy trying to follow God's laws. I wouldn't bother, if not for the fact that that the Bible has never been proven to be wrong.
I'm not too sure about the accuracy of the examples provided, "like tt time they threatened to excommunicate the guy who said the earth revolved around the sun. or when the church started all the witchhunts in europe" but I'll take your word for it. I'll even go one step further. The Church was so incredibly wrong and corrupted that the Reformation started. Heard of Martin Luther?
So, while the Church has been proven wrong before, it's bcz we're all imperfect and bound to make mistakes. But the faith we believe in, is 100% sure. That alright?
A little note on abortion here. Like pre-marital sex, I believe that it IS wrong. I believe that life starts the moment a sperm enters the egg and therefore, getting rid of a foetus is equal to getting rid of a human which adds up to murder. Again, this comes from what I believe in. I'm not going to force this down any one's throat. Just sharing my pov.
Fiftly[I've kind of lost count actually. heh.], "if the churches policies on contraception and abortion were realised, the social problems that will occur are astronomical. not to mention the earth is already overpopulated".
Me: Have more faith in your God, man. On what basis do you make your claim that "the earth is already overpopulated"? Did you know that if the world's resources were evenly spread out, there'd be enough for everyone? That means that if the filthy rich people all over the world shared their wealth with the poor, Everybody would have enough to eat.
Besides, I would think that God's in control over all this. He is God, after all. (:
Sooooo. This is an incredibly long post and I've come to the end of it. As with all my posts [check the one on bgr etc], I'm not sure what your reactions are but I welcome comments. Again, I'm sorry if the way I write offends anyone. I don't mean to.
If the way I write offends any one, I don't mean to. I'll try to make this as uhh for want of a better word, professional as I can, not let emotions come into this and all, but I hope all of us will be mature enough to see this as a discussion and not personal attacks yah?
I'm not saying I know everything. I'm really not trying to be judgemental or arrogent. I'm just sharing what I know and feel and everyone's welcome to do the same.
Next. I apologise to shyama. Girl, I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. We've been through so much together and I'm sorry if I was insensitive.
Hmmm. Important things done. Let's begin round2. (:
Now. A diamond is changes its shape when viewed from different angles. In the same way, what is a fact to me may be an opinion to you.
Statement1: I disagree with tookie's idea that " sex before marriage...it is simply judgemental to say it is wrong".
It is not "simply judgemental". It is a fact.
See, we have to understand where each other is coming from. As smashworm said, "I don't know if your friend is a Christian, but we are. That is probably why we hold such strong views against issues like abortion and sexual relationships before marriage."
I believe in God. I have acknowledged Him as God. Therefore, what He says, I follow. Because He is God.
This, is where I'm coming from. That's why to Christians, pre-marital sex IS wrong.
I don't know who barcza is, but I'm definitely very suprised by your statements. You claim that "im also a christian" and then go on to say that "to publicly declare tt its wrong takes a very judgmental person in my opinion".
Hello? Tookie can say that bcz she doesn't acknowledge God, as her God. Therefore our convictions will obviously be different. But a Christian who claims that " i dun think pre-marital sex is gd, but honestly, i dun think its wrong either" should check the Bible. [barcza, as a Christian, you do believe that the Bible is the word of God Himself, don't you?]
Basically, what smashworm and I are saying is that as Christians, we have committed ourselves to God's laws and commandments [which are found in the Bible], one of which is, pre-matrital sex is wrong.
That's all. What I was saying in the previous post stemmed from my convictions and that is why I'm sorry I hurt a close friend of mine. I stand by what I said, but I didn't mean to cause pain.
Okay. So much for pre-marital sex. Next.
I'm curious as to where barcza got his/her ideas from. It's stated very clearly in the Bible that pre-marital sex is wrong. Find me any verse or passage that says that pre-marital sex [or adultry] is okay with God.
"like how the christians and the muslims now hack at each other constantly despite the bible and koran both saying not to kill your fellow man"
My reply: Do you think these Christians are really Christians, or do they just call themselves Christians? I can claim to be a guru in eating habits whereas in reality, I'm just a chocoholic. [This may not be the best analogy but give me a break. (:] My point is, many people say they are Christians. It's not up to me to decide if they are or not. But one good way is to see their actions. The Bible does say that thou shalt not kill. Go figure.
"besides, the christian faith has proven to be wrong on many occasions".
Me: Okay this is where I get really worried. Let me make this very clear. The Christian faith has yet to be proven wrong. What do you mean by "christian faith" anyway?
Number1. BIG difference between "christian faith", and the Church. If someone were to say that the Church has proven to be wrong on many occasions, I'm not going to be defensive and insist that no! the Church is perfect! The Church has indeed in the past, been wrong. The Church. Not the "christian faith". If the "christian faith" were EVER "proven to be wrong", then what I believe in is all for naught and Christianity is a sham. And why should I believe in something that has been proven to be wrong? It really isn't easy trying to follow God's laws. I wouldn't bother, if not for the fact that that the Bible has never been proven to be wrong.
I'm not too sure about the accuracy of the examples provided, "like tt time they threatened to excommunicate the guy who said the earth revolved around the sun. or when the church started all the witchhunts in europe" but I'll take your word for it. I'll even go one step further. The Church was so incredibly wrong and corrupted that the Reformation started. Heard of Martin Luther?
So, while the Church has been proven wrong before, it's bcz we're all imperfect and bound to make mistakes. But the faith we believe in, is 100% sure. That alright?
A little note on abortion here. Like pre-marital sex, I believe that it IS wrong. I believe that life starts the moment a sperm enters the egg and therefore, getting rid of a foetus is equal to getting rid of a human which adds up to murder. Again, this comes from what I believe in. I'm not going to force this down any one's throat. Just sharing my pov.
Fiftly[I've kind of lost count actually. heh.], "if the churches policies on contraception and abortion were realised, the social problems that will occur are astronomical. not to mention the earth is already overpopulated".
Me: Have more faith in your God, man. On what basis do you make your claim that "the earth is already overpopulated"? Did you know that if the world's resources were evenly spread out, there'd be enough for everyone? That means that if the filthy rich people all over the world shared their wealth with the poor, Everybody would have enough to eat.
Besides, I would think that God's in control over all this. He is God, after all. (:
Sooooo. This is an incredibly long post and I've come to the end of it. As with all my posts [check the one on bgr etc], I'm not sure what your reactions are but I welcome comments. Again, I'm sorry if the way I write offends anyone. I don't mean to.
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